Sunday, August 12, 2012


Just finished a bowlful of McClelland’s Honeydew.
If Hello Kitty had the exceptionally good sense to smoke a pipe, this is what she would smoke. Now, whereas normal felines have teeth which are not suited to clenching a pipe, necessitating special stems just for the pussy market, Hello Kitty is some kind of shovel-jawed freak, and would have no problem whatsoever with a Dunhill Fishtail.
If Dunhill made a Hello Kitty pipe. Which they should!
Lord knows, if you can find Hello Kitty vibrators, Hello Kitty Vodka, Hello Kitty Chainsaw Massacre Tattoos, Hello Kitty Hamburgers, and Hello Kitty S&M slut-harlot bridal suites, in Hello Kitty Love Motels, you really should be able to find Hello Kitty Pipes.

Tell Dunhill to make it happen.

Maybe Hello Kitty borrows someone else’s equipment?
It would certainly make sense.
But I digress.

McClelland’s 221B Series


“A subtly sweet, fragrant flake tobacco in the Irish tradition”

The Irish, as is well-known, have certain issues.

To further quote from the tin-blurb: “The sweet, fragrant Honeydew was all gone by the time Susan Cushing offered the container to Sherlock Holmes, but he was undoubtedly familiar with this fine Irish flake’s gratifying flavor, pleasing aroma and gentleness on the palate."

Manufactured by McClelland Tobacco Company, in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.
I haven’t checked whether they have a Hello Kitty store in Kansas City.
I’m sure they do.

I opened this tin about three months ago, and first described it in a post at that time.

Since then I have finished quite a few tins of Samuel Gawith flakes of various types, and some lovely pressed tobaccos from other houses, including blondes, browns, and red Virginias.
I've also gone through full Latakia mixtures, strange compounds containing Burley, and here and there other stuffs.
As of this writing, the tin of Honeydew is only half empty. When I put my nose to it, it smells like something a refined junior slut would wear, if she were ditching the prom to go work at the upscale hotels on Nob Hill. Precisely the thing elderly businessmen from Japan or the Midwest would love to sniff their dates wearing.
Don't look so shocked - it's NOT like she'll actually 'do' them. She'll simply encourage them to drink a bit too much, dance a bit too much, and live it up for a change. She knows they're married, and consequently desperate for the company of someone considerably younger than the frau who stayed in Osaka or Podunk or wherever while hubbikins went to SF.
She won't even take their wallets when they finally fall asleep tiddly and fully clothed, back in the hotel room. Though she might scrawl something salacious on the bathroom mirror in pink pink pink lipstick.


Underneath the sweet cloy, a foetid acetic odour still faintly lingers. What they've perfumed this product with may not have been a mortal melon. Conceivably a space-age fungus.
Or something developed by the Defence Department.
Psycho-war division.
I would not describe it as a recognizable fruit. But that is probably because many fragrances have a far broader spectrum when fresh, than purified and reduced.
Much dissipates and fades.

All in all, a very decent Virginia mixture, and the funk soon burns off if treated as such.
It has a discreet natural sweetness, and some depth.
Every bowl so far has been quite pleasant, with ghosting that doesn't last nearly as long as I first thought it would, and is easily countered by something in the stinky Syrian category - to which it will add a beguiling oddness. As aromatics go, it is an exceptionally well-behaved product.
Still not something a big butch hairy gay bear should smoke, but very suitable for summer, outdoors, and horrid icky felines.
Like with other such products, I am smoking it ironically.
Though nevertheless enjoying it.
Not because I have a frilly side.
But because I have a mean streak and a keen sense of perversion.

And also, for some reason, it makes me want to purr.
As well lick myself.

Yes, I will indeed buy more of it.
Consider that a recommendation.


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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Anonymous said...

Hello Kitty must not be insulted.

The back of the hill said...

To anonymous at 1:31PM,


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