Tuesday, October 27, 2009

CHOPPED PORK SHOULDER AND HAM WITH SALT, WATER, SODIUM NITRITE, AND ONLY TRACE AMOUNTS OF VITAMINS AND MINERALS

Moderation in all things...... especially Spam and chocolate.
Yesterday's dinner has convinced me that moderation is a good thing.

After work I headed over to the bar to have a cocktail, where I discovered Lawrence and Don happily snarfing down Spam sandwiches - sourdough bread, shmear mustard, a layer of Spam, slices of hothouse cucumber.
It's truly amazing what you'll eat after you've imbibed. And I was having such a splendid time that I had a second drink. At which point the fresh, pink, sexy rosiness of the processed pressed pork shoulder with the overload of sodium looked ....... incredibly delicious!

Yes, the hothouse cucumbers really did make it a feast. A nice touch. Very elegant.

Spam is Philippino manna, by the way.
[Serve with little siling labuyo (pickled birdseye chilies), atsara (pickled shredded green papaya), vinegar and garlic dip, and banana ketchup. Sarap to da max, man! ]

Hawaiians also like spam.

So do the English - they even sing about it. Wonderful Spam. Spammity Spam.

Spam is the quintessence of modern culture.

Or so it may seem, when you've had a few.



DANCING TROLL

When I got home I was not hungry. So I headed into the teevee room to watch 'My Neighbor Totoro', which is where I discovered the chocolate.
Somehow, a dozen bonbons disappeared while I watched a large furry creature with a red umbrella. Maybe more. It had once been a two-pound box, three days ago.
It is now nearly empty.

During the night I had amazingly vivid dreams. Technicolour and textural.
Including one dream informed primarily by an urgent need to micturate. Most uncomfortable.
It was the fault of the salt. At four in the morning, my body had finished processing the huge amount of sodium I had ingested, and no longer felt any need to retain water. Which proved disconcerting. Especially as my mind took a while to realize what was going on, and, still in a dream-state, filled in its own blanks.

If you are a man, you know what I mean.


Down the hall at quick-waddle.........

Think of cold water, think of rain, think of ocean waves. Do NOT think of lovely young teenagers in the swimming pool ........ oh darn!!!
Try more watery thoughts! Marshes, fens, and bogs. Creeks, streams, rivulets. Canals, ditches, channels. Grachten, vlieten, vaarten, sloten. Lakes, shallow meres, and pools of standing water. Sunlight reflecting off the surface. Naked girls frolicking in a swimming hole shaded by trees approximately a mile south of where the Dommel river flows past the mill (Venbergsche Molen), their thin elegant limbs and taut taut stomachs ......... oh darn it again!!!!

Better have a smoke, this might take a while.


Moderation. It's a good thing. It promotes a sound night's sleep.

If you're a man, you know what I mean.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Its also called,"Micronesian steak." Theres a spam carving contest in Guam every year. My Outer Island friends tell me that its the meat product with the flavor that most resembles human flesh, hence its popularity in certain places.

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