Monday, August 03, 2009


I had already voiced objection, strenuously, and at length, about the small roomies discovering the magic bowl of quarters. The small roomies, in case you didn't know, include four bears, two ovines, two monkeys, two felines, three penguins, four pigs of various dimensions, four hamsters, a bright yellow guinea pig who believes herself the re-incarnation of Queen Nefertiti (Hatsheput is more likely), a charming big black spider with bright blue eyes, and several frogs. Plus a beaver. And a cow with ribbons on her hooves.

It's MY bowl of quarters. Mine.

I keep telling them that it is NOT a magic bowl, and does not replenish by a regularly scheduled miracle.
I put the quarters in, whenever I have an even number of extra quarters, and they are meant for doing laundry. Those are my coins. Laundry money.

They sneer at this explanation. It is absurd!
Obviously I never do laundry, because I smell bad. "Laundry", they say, "feh!"
And "forsooth!"

The head-sheep exhausts himself daily trying to scale the book case - the bowl of quarters is on the top shelf - and every day will assert that it must be his, he 'found it'. How he did so, not being able to climb, is a mystery. He says it called out to him. Many of the other roomies dispute this, not he but they 'found it'. And having found this mysteriously ownerless magic bowl of quarters, it is theirs.
Theirs, do you hear them, theirs! Finders keepers.

The arguments as to who gets to despoil my bowl of quarters are quite distressing.


Several of the more internet-savvy ones now also wish to "borrow" the brown leathery thing that resides in my back pocket. There is a magic piece of plastic in there that they can hear calling out to them, and in any case, why am I worried? They only intend to borrow the leathery thing, they will return it, honest!

None of these little anarchists has EVER returned stuff they've borrowed. Once they've got their paws on it, it's theirs. For ever.
I'm probably not getting the pair of boxers with the cute owl pattern back until the monkey has worn it to shreds.
Savage Kitten is not getting her finest silk shirt back either. Or those beads.

I have, for obvious reasons, taken to hiding my wallet (the aforementioned brown leathery thing) every night.
It is a good thing furry communists can't climb.


Spiros said...

..."an even number of extra quarters"? Please, don't explain.

The back of the hill said...

Put quarter into the bowl in increments of two. Four quarters at a time is perfect.
Take them out, in increments of two. And again, four quarters at a time is perfect.

This is natural.


And perfection.

Graham ben Yuch said...

I am baffled. A roomie? is this an insect or is it foreign coinage???
Quarters & laundry - The Blogmeester is telling us he does not own a washing-machine??
i.e. he and the kitten take all their stuff to a launderette?

in 21st century USA



The back of the hill said...

Roomie = Diminutive form of 'room-mate'; person or entity that shares one's living quarters. Which may include teddy bears, Steif animals, handpuppets, and other ""sentient"" beings.

We do not own a washing machine. There is a laundromat a block and ahalf away. This in lieu of beating the dirty clothes in the river with a rock till clean. No nearby river, no rock.

Graham b Y said...


I see the sense of not having these gadget if space is limited and you don't have kids
If you do have space - then how about this - fun to use too

Steffy said...

You're talking about stuffed animals! I know that! Cute.

cogently amphibious said...

Cute, or creepy?

Friar Yid (not Shlita) said...

As a child, my younger brother had a habit of finding loose change on the ground wherever he went (I assume being rather low to the aforementioned ground helped substantially). Inexplicably, he continued to "look" for money even when we were staying at relatives' houses-- under the furniture, behind the sofa, etc.

This only finally came to my parents' attention after we were traveling with a cousin-- in her car-- and he found a succession of quarters and declared them all "mine!" because, you guessed it, he found them. Once they realized he wasn't kidding and had no intention of forking them over, my embarrassed parents put the kibbosh on it.

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