Monday, August 25, 2008

TOHOROS HA MISHPACHA

Rather than a long disquisition about the technicalities of a disquieting subject, a brief excursus into left field.


Savage Kitten woke up yesterday morning feeling out of sorts. Savage Kitten needed Ibuprofen. And had run out. And was too crampy to walk to Walgreens. And announced her intention to spend all day in bed belly-aching about an angry porcupine with high heels, beads, and granny glasses who was stomping around her insides doing the rumba.

She slept fitfully during most of the day instead.

So, rather than joining some friends snarking an Edomite cultural manifestation elsewhere in the city, I stayed home. I did not see the porcupine, and have no evidence that an angry dancing porcupine with beads, granny glasses, and high heels, actually even exists, but I will take it on faith that yes she does indeed visit every month.

Ibuprofen is a miracle drug.

By evening Savage Kitten had recovered enough to partake of some curried lamb haunch.


What I missed out on at the Edomite cultural thing was Ahmed calling someone a nazi. Ahmed subsequently calling the cops, who came by and noted that Ahmed was losing his marbles. Ahmed calling the same someone a colonialist racist. The cops tisk-tisking and leaving. Ahmed accusing someone of stealing his falafel. Ahmed taking offense at kippot. Ahmed being chided for his dietary habits. Ahmed invectivicating about the war. Ahmed stuttering. Ahmed hearing voices. Ahmed blinking obsessively while his eyes rolled back. Ahmed distributing literature calling major politicians zionazi stooges and demon spawn. Ahmed marxistically praising Ahmedinejad and Hugo Chavez, both of whom are saints and prophets by Allah! Ahmed demanding that Jinns and Jews leave the park, and take their evil wires with them! Ahmed having a worthwhile and heartfelt exchange of opinions with Borat (Borat being the catch-all term for less-than-coherent members of our side). Ahmed chanting for Ralph Nader and Cindy Sheehan, and Ahmed then hearing the space-ships coming to carry him home.


It sounds like fun. I would've liked to have been there. But sometimes nidah-zivah-zavah take precedence.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

....and a lovely time had by all, ...except Achmed.

R

Anonymous said...

Poor Achmed. He didn't enjoy his own leetle cultural thingy. Als, ppor Achmed. My scrote itches on his behalf.


---Grant Patel

Unknown said...

Hi at the back of the hill

My name is Assaf and I'm a video director from the holy land.


We've (me&wife) just finished making a viral movie for Jerusalem:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPaEdSp8ikY



Hope you'll find our small movie funny and u'll put it in your blog.

Thanks,
And Shalom
Assaf
Tel Aviv
Israel
http://www.nanook.co.il
p.s- sorry coudn't ger your email.

Anonymous said...

Cindy Sheehan needs a broken beer bottle up her you know what.

Spiros said...

I might be missing something here, but what was stopping YOU from going to Walgreen's for some ibuprofin?

The back of the hill said...

I did go to wlagreens. I thought that was implied. It was on sale too. Less pain for less money. A metsiyeh.

Spiros said...

I guess I did miss something. Apologies.

The back of the hill said...

Nanook. Fun little video. I'll place it in a post at some point within the next week or so.

Anonymous said...

The video was fun. And there is no refund on miracles.


---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

What's all this about Dovbear's book then?

Have you read it yet? Is there a plot?

Well, there's always a plot, of course, but not that kind of plot. A smaller plot, more middle distance, and set up a bit from the other plot. Not somuch a Zionist plot as an Arthurian plot.

Ni.


---Grant Patel

Spiros said...

Does the plot involve beds and porridge, because if it does, I think I already know the story.

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm, Goldilocks smeared with warm smooth porridge, and honey, mmmmm!

Bed all rumpled. Sticky. Warm weekend morning.......

Hellooooo, Lev, are you listening?


---Grant Patel

Search This Blog

STAY WITH ELECTRIC

Some drugs to which people become addicted, which may necessitate incontinence pants, also induce a high quotient of gibberance. Especially ...