Wednesday, April 29, 2020

THE SOCIAL GRACE OF A PIT VIPER

It is a keen disappointment to realize that I am an unpleasant man. On my first walk this morning I was almost constantly swearing and cursing under my breath at inconsiderate joggers, dimwits blithely staggering down the middle of the sidewalk necessitating my veering into the automobile lanes to maintain sufficient distance, idiots peering at their cellphone screen while ditheringly wavering from side to side, and folks barging out of doorways straight into oncoming foot traffic. What is it with you people?
And why are you still alive?

All of that, naturally, was on Polk Street.
Which I'll avoid the rest of the day.

Waved in recognition to pistachio-hue hat auntie while she was doing her ambulatory up-and-down on my own block, gave some money to the old black bald fellow at the corner, exchanged friendly greetings and remarks about the weather with an elderly woman I've never seen before, and wished two hispanic ladies a cheery good morning. Well, good day. Buenas dias! Can't remember if there is a Spanish equivalent of "good morning".

So I've been social enough. The rest of the day I can be a blister.

Other than calling up the pharmacy at Chinese Hospital to have one of my medications renewed before the weekend. I'll remember to be friendly, and because they are not going to be physically anywhere near me when I call, there is no reason to be otherwise.


On the other hand, before I stepped out of the house with my pipe I reported an advertisement for a conservative religious College as hate speech. Just because I have several Bible dorks as FB friends does NOT mean I'll give any credence to your offensively heretical belief system. We might if we met share pipe tobacco, but I'll remember that my ancestors fought for survival against all the rest of you.

Though I am an atheist, I still bear grudges.

By the way: we rebuilt Naarden since then.
And the "pilgrims" finally left.
They were unbearable.


A little bit more Perique than usual, counteracting the black Virginia. The bulk of this blend is reds and browns, some blonde for colour and a brighter taste. But each component is several years matured. So it presents a nice balance between savoury, tangy, and sweet.



The pipe is one I restored a few years ago. I had a longer stem put on when I sent it out, because I like to be able to see the bowl at the end of my face, and longer pipes look jaunty and young. Perky almost.

It's a Savinelli DeLuxe billiard, trimmer and more elegant than their most popular pipe (shape 101), but I cannot read the number, and I think they've retired that designation anyway. The wood has the glow of ancientness, there are no fills.

I think I look dashing and jaunty with it sticking out of my beak.
And seeing as nobody likes smokers, I haven't asked.
A trim old grumpus, ready for adventure!


Now get away from me, all of you Typhoid Marys!



TOBACCO INDEX


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1 comment:

Plague Doctor said...

Everybody is sick. Some more than others.

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