REAL LIVE TROLL

Joke from a very nice man on the internet: Question, what do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Answer: an irrelephant. No, I do not frequent the electronic company of dubious gentleman who lead me astray, he actually is a very nice man. All the right instincts. Just given to wordplays that make the sensitive cringe.

I am not sensitive. I like that joke.

The bee from America?

A USB.

Well okay, that one is a somewhat pointless. When the Bugaloo finally comes and the Angels descend with machine guns to hunt them pansie heretics, you will be dragged before the awesome throne to account for your horrid puns.

Of course, until then you're perfectly safe.



Like many of us, I have not actually met this man, but I trust him. His character is vouched for by his statements, memes, friends, likes, and commenters, and before "friending" him I scoped out his page and his profile, as well as habits and social circle. Sort of a stalky credit check, much like what gave most of us our plastic.

You have done the same. At least, I hope so. Over time you've made errors, and "friended" people who later turned out to be slightly batshit, or rather redneckish and skeevy. No problem. They live far away, click 'defriend', and if others whose statements, memes, and CAT PICTURES you like do the same, over time the problem is rectified.

Social circles in the modern era are composed of people whose thoughts we know, but whose smells we've never encountered in the nose, and whom we've never seen hepped to gills on Redbull.


If you smell my pipe tobacco on the street, run away. I'm probably crazed by too much caffeine, and grumpy over tourists clogging the sidewalk. I'll also likely say something irrational and undiplomatic about other people's deep-seated habits, religions, food likes, and political points of view.
I'll walk slowly, and distract you from important errands.
In many ways I am unlikable and irritating.
You have things to do.





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