Finally the U.S. Open is over. And, with a bit of luck, people will soon stop talking about the most boring sport in the universe.
All week long conversations have revolved around people wearing pastel whacking their balls. With serious mien, pundits have voiced opinions, discussed angles and velocity, and uttered grave pronouncements about grass, sand, the balls, and even the silly little sticks used to hit those balls.
Gentlemen, please shut up about the balls.
Yours or anyone else’s.
It’s over.
As a comparative ranking, here are the top ten most dismal televised spectacles:
10. Congressional hearings.
9. State of the Union speech.
8. Weightlifting.
7. FOX news.
6. Anything involving flying saucers.
5. Real Housewives.
4. Football.
3. Basket ball.
2. Baseball.
And, at number one:
1. Golf.
All time worst. Hands down.
These ten "entertainments" have the intellectual and emotional appeal of watching paint drying.
Like viewing overmuch pornography, they rot the brain and lead to domestic estrangement.
Spending any time among people discussing these things is like being at a swingers convention with ugly old farts. Think about it, and you'll know why.
Please stop talking about your balls.
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THE TURKEYS
If you do your research assiduously, you can discover lots of evidence that American families are completely dysfunctional and consist of tr...
12 comments:
The State of the Union speech is considerably more intellectually stimulating than Jersey Shore, by far.
I’ve always felt that that show belonged on The Animal Channel.
Wait, you're saying that congressional hearings are the moral equivalent of wanking?
On the other hand, you might enjoy reading this:
margavriel.livejournal.com/265982.html
The Rebbe Strikes Back!
Green dress with cargo pockets.
Chamber orchestra.
Un’ oich a gesangen brocho.
‘Siz git.
What, not going to comment?
I mean, there, on-site, on the comment thread. Nu?
Requires thought and re-reading.
So perhaps later.
I sure hop so. Looking forward!!!
To be fair, X-Files falls into the "anything with flying saucers" item, so I'd have to disagree.
Tzipporah, you're right, but I could never really hack the flying saucer episodes.
More into the trailer park vampires, chicken ranch cannibals, glandular secretion suckers, and digestive issues scholar type shows.
Mulder's sister and the black eye-worms just bored me.
Mulder and angst. Bad combo.
Only a compete heathen would disparage long conversations about balls.
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