THE MIRACLE OF RAMPANT AMAZONS

No, this post isn't about large sexually liberated or carnivorous women.
The title came to me while reading a communication from a bookseller.
Years ago I purchased a few books from Amazon, in consequence of which the dear lady (Amazon) presumes to know my tastes, and what drives me.

She (Amazon) even thinks she can plumb the very depths of my soul!

Some people might say that I have no soul.

Amazon is different. She believes in me.

I am a timorous Christian virgin waiting for the end of days. Who reads squeaky clean romance novels.
As well as mediaeval martyr hagiographies.
And I absolute require health-spa massages, pore cleansing, and fabulous footwear, right here in San Francisco!

Alas, Amazon utterly fails to fathom that a middle-aged man might have multiple interests.
The Documentary Hypothesis, heathen iconography, Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo.
Food history, Dutch studies, and South-East Asian theatre forms.
The Myth of the Holy Cow, by Dwijendra Narayan Jha.
And foreign language dictionaries.

Nope. According to Amazon I am two dimensional.

An ugly but sensuous Fundy with no sex life.

Okay. It's true. Amen, and hallelujah.
I tried to hide, but you found me.
Ain't gonna argue the point.
You are so right.

Word of advice: ALL ugly but sensuous Fundies should have a sex life. It will turn things right around for them, why, it will positively make them glow! They'll finally look happy, dump the frump gowns, and run around barefoot in the grass. There will be beads and tie-dye dresses!
Why, they'll look absolutely radiant!

And they might even become amazons!

Sex is better than massages, skin treatments, and also San Francisco.

But perhaps not as good as fabulous footwear.

NOTHING! beats fab footwear.

Fab footwear is GOD!


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