WHAT DOES VICTORY SMELL LIKE?

One of the smokers at the wall mentioned that many movies nowadays are in 3D.
Which, naturally, brought up the subject of 'smell-o-vision'. Which is a technology that may be available soon.
I can think of any number of movies and television programmes that would be completely unwatchable when that happens.

Not only the obvious candidates - romances, nature documentaries, and the housewives of wherever - but also every single cooking show on the idiot box. Do you really want that much sensory stimulation when you're just looking for entertainment?
Especially if they don't get it right?
Cheeses, from Limburg.
Of course not!

Shan't even mention pornography. You'll never be able to watch technicolor nasty again.
And the less said about educational films in smell-o-vision the better.
Duck, and cover your nose.

There are, in fact, only TWO categories of entertainment in which smell-o-vision has any use whatsoever.

Sports.

And the shopping channels.


The advantage for the latter category is obvious. Why, it smells like a lovely BRAND NEW purse in here! And those BEAUTIFUL shoes smell like high quality leather......... with a background whiff of expensive boutique.
Mmm, LaCroix!
What a marvelous way to maximize sales, without the shopper ever having to get up off the couch.
It wouldn't benefit the jewelry channel much, but I'm assuming everyone switching on the smell-o-view when watching bling-shopping would be doing so ironically anyhow.
Have you SEEN the tacky crap they're selling?
Housewives in Iowa, sweetie.
Iowa.
Ick.


Sports might be a far less obvious beneficiary of smell-o-vision. But think about it for a second. What does a living room full of men watching the game on Sunday normally smell like?
Pizza. Beer. Sweat. Slim Jim breath. Testosterone. Intestinal gasses.
Plus unwashed bachelor friends and psychopaths.
Go to a sports bar, and you get all of that squared, without there even being an interval of a week to let the place clear out.

Compared with that, the reek of football players rolling in the mud may actually be a good thing.


Bring on the smell-o-vision!

==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================