IF YOU WERE JEWISH
Steamed pork meatballs with bacon and shrimpaste over shrimp roe noodles.
But if you were really Jewish, you wouldn't mind.
Kashrus exists as a stratagem to maintain the distinction among the nations.
I would've already bored you with my ancestry - Dutch Calvinist settlers in New Amsterdam and Ulster Presbyterians getting the heck out of Anglostan - and the differences, while valid and vibrant, would not mean much.
The distinction is already there.
In more ways than one.
Eating together does not necessarily mean eating the same thing.
Just like sitting in the same pro-Israel booth at the "Solano Stroll" does not mean seeing "eye to eye".
I saw some very lovely teenage legs. Good heavens. Delicious. Are those girls even of drinking age?
What you saw was next week's parsha. You swatted the trop.
Whereas I was appreciating the design esthetics and fine judgement of the master of the universe in the passing crowd.
The Sfas Emes encourages us to not see, and not hear, when seeing and hearing might prove problematic.
Your eyes and ears are the watchmen of your mind.
Mine are..... bribable.
The Sfas Emes was wise. But some of us are, dare we say it, somewhat perverse.
It was a lovely day in Berkeley and Albany.
I had forgotten how luscious teenagers can look.
At several intervals, I forced myself to stare to the side.
In consequence, I saw more of the Morris Dancers than a sane man is supposed to......
But far less that would give me disturbing dreams.
At all times, I am in control of what I see, what I hear.
Good heavens, the master of the universe did some mighty fine stuff.
In no way involving Morris Dancers.
Praise the handiwork.
I cannot find anything good to say about Morris Dancers. But all things considered, they have a place.
Shan't dream of them.
I'm certain some of those other thighs were Jewish.
Verdomme, da' was lekker.
Yes, I am a dirty old man.
But it's well-thought-out filth.
Being a pervert is a matter of personal hashkofo.
Deal with it.
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.