We are surrounded by small loonies. There is no escape. These are the creatures that haunt our dreams, whispering evil things in our ears as we sleep.
Things like "give me quarters". Or "I want a potato!"
And naturally we wake up screaming. The horror, the horror.
There's a small sock sheep sitting on our pillow giggling and studiously looking innocent. Would he try to implant hypnotic suggestions in our minds by insistently speaking at our drowsing head? No, noooooo....!
Not him.
While wondering at his honesty, we fix a baked potato filled with quarters.
If our roomies were NORMAL, they'd just put things like "you're fat, you eat too much, and you dress funny" into our heads.
But sometimes they are realists. They understand that when you are trying on pants and you can slip the pair off without even unbuttoning it - because they don't make anything smaller than a size FOUR - the concept of 'fat' isn't operative.
Crap, why don't they make women's size two?
Not everyone in the United States is built like a Sherman Tank.
Why is that sock sheep trying to look so straightfaced? Why is he smiling into a hoof while staring fixedly at the middle distance?
I don't trust him.
When HE's asleep, I will whisper that the Gleaming Salamander God will come up through the cracks in the floor, and feast upon his potatoes.
AND STEAL HIS QUARTERS!
That'll teach him not to put abnormal thoughts into our heads.
Hmmmph!
Above all, we shall maintain a sane life style.
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