FINE FLESHED CALVES

One of the more ridiculous pashkevils currently circulating in some areas of the Orthodox world is a screed against see-through stockings for women, and the use of the word "nude" in product descriptions for same. It has been endorsed by Rabbis Simcha B. Ehrenfeld, Shmuel Wozner, Shmuel Birnbaum, Moshe Stern, A. Shea Heshl Bick, Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, Nissim Karelitz, Arye Malkiel Kotler, D. Z. Shustal, and Avrohom Pam.

"In addition, inappropriate pictures on the packaging should be covered."

Apparently, stockings are obligatory, but stockings that allow innocent young bochurs to imagine what skin looks like are toevah.

[The pashkevil can be seen here: silly stocking shtuss. It was brought to my attention by a posting ("sub-literate barkings") on Dovbear's blog. ]


Methinks the Gedolei Yisroel mi Amsterdam hachadash are spending WAY too much time thinking about shapely calves of a pleasingly creamy hue.

And who can blame them?

Wonders of creation, Rabbosai, wonders of creation.


I'll be the first to admit that imagining lovely parts of the female body automatically makes me think of eating treif.
Pork, lobster, shellfish of many and several varieties.
Indeed, if it weren't for sexy gams in general, I would probably be a vegetarian, eating naught else but Protestant bowel cleansing cereal products every morning, noon, and night. It is because I have learned to enjoy life (see aforementioned charming bits of pulchritude) that I engage in such horrific practices as steaming chunks of bacon with shrimp-paste and ginger, poaching shrimp and mussels in a butter - sherry - chile guajillo reduction, braising eels with a green sauce a la mode de Flandres, and cooking fine cuts of wild game in a cream and caper gravy.
With some nice fromage to finish.

Yes.

See-through stockings.

Without them, I would probably study words of wisdom all day.


Ma rabu maasecha Hashem, kulam bechochma asita, mala ha-aretz kinyaneicha;
Baruch ata Adonoi Eloheinu Melech Haolam, shekachalo be olamo!


Amen.


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