Tuesday, May 04, 2010

AH, THE FLOWERS!

Please make no mistake: I am as prurient as the next guy. By which I mean that like many normal people, I thoroughly appreciate such things as visible panty lines, the delicate sheen of a high-quality bra through the fabric of a blouse that isn't quite as opaque as you think it is, the texture of lace under silk, or even that you have buttery crumbs on your ... décolletage.
Yes. Indeed.

However, if you are going to wear a lovely summer frock, please make sure it fits. Specifically, that it fits over the chest area.


Last night I was on the cablecar heading home.
As is my custom when on a cablecar that contains ladies and old people, I stood.
I did not know where to put my eyes.

One young lady was just a bit too tight. One young lady had major wide short-sleeve issues. The third young lady, seated right in front of me, was Chinese.
Her lovely summer frock was NOT designed for Chinese people.


I'm not sure if you realize it, but when the front area is looser than your praise-worthy errrrrrrms can fill, your dress will bag out a bit.

You have a lovely bra.


Yes, I tried looking straight ahead - the glass behind your seat was reflective.
I tried looking off to the side - and yes, there's more glass there.
Moving to a different location in the cablecar was not an option - it was far too crowded to do so...... and did I already mention the tight dress and the sleeve issues on the other two young ladies?

Not that I'm complaining, you understand. And it wasn't your fault, you were impeccably dressed. The effect was both modest, and stylish. The accidental frontal looseness was also very becoming. But I try to be a gentleman about these things; not only because I feel that even in public one should be aware of other people's "privacy", also because one should not stare.

If it had not been so crowded, and if there had not been so many reflective surfaces, I would still have been keenly aware of the front gap - peripheral vision is the elderly lecher's diplomatic friend. Perhaps I wouldn't have known of the lovely bra - that was a vantage point issue that you were probably not aware of. But yes. Very nice.


I spent ten minutes trying to be as unaware as possible of your fine qualities.
It was incredibly difficult.
Had I been a much younger man, I probably would've asked your name and phone number.
You have lovely skin.
I really hope that the weather stays this beautiful.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

We depraved lechers-- I admit that I'm of the same fraternity-- will always find something to observe, no matter what the weather.

Bob

Tzipporah said...

Bad Cohen noted last week that it's summer again, on campus.

Then he grinned.

Steffy said...

If I ever meet you , I'll be sure to wear something shapeless and large.

No tight sweaters.
No form-fitting jeans.
No translucent summery blouses.

No kicky high heels.
No thigh-high stockings.
No short short short skirts.

Perhaps a stylish little number made from several discarded flour sacks.

Spiros said...

The proper way to ride a cable car is to stand with one's back to those seated, facing out onto the street. Although., had I been in the situation you describe, I would most definitely said "a fig for propriety" and enjoyed the view.

Anonymous said...

This is why we should all go around essentially naked. (Well, I guess we'd need overcoats when it gets chilly outside.) If we were all naked, we'd get desensitized to the view, and thous wouldn't get aroused.

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