One of my friends admits that he likes to lie on his couch stroking his snake in the evening.
No, this post isn't about sex.
It's about food.
I'm not sure what kind of snake it is. Non-poisonous, eats every couple of weeks or so. Bright-eyed, affectionate, likes cuddling. That's all I know.
What it eats are mice.
BON APPETIT
My friend was approached recently by two strangers who wanted to give him a mouse.
Not wanting to take just any mouse, he asked them about it.
Turns out they, too have a pet. A cat.
The cat is a young adult who has been indoors all it's life. It sits on the window sill, staring intently at the birds and squirrels in the garden below, tail twitching, eyes following the little creatures, back and forth, back and forth.
So one day they decided to give it what it so clearly needed - a taste of the hunt. And they bought it a food-quality mouse.
They took the mouse home in a box, and as they came in the cat sensed the live beastie in the container and hurried over.
They put the mouse-box down in front of the cat and opened it up. The cat looked inside. The mouse looked at the cat. The cat looked back. Then sat on it's haunches expectantly, not knowing precisely what it should do.
The mouse knew what it wanted to do. It jumped up (mice can leap up over a foot), landed on the carpet, and took off running. The cat promptly sped after it and interdicted it's escape. Then, very gently, carried the mouse over to the box and dropped it back inside, unharmed.
After a tense two or three minutes of cat and mouse glaring at each other, the mouse leapt up again and ran off. The cat captured it again, and dropped it back in the box. Again, unharmed.
After a few minutes, this was repeated.
It happened again several more times that evening, the only harm to the mouse being it's nerves, pride, and a disappointed yearning for freedom.
The cat just would not hurt the mouse, but gently returned it to the box every single time.
The last time, the mouse headed for the closet. The cat caught it just barely before it could escape under a pile of clothes. At that point the owners of the cat decided they had had enough; the cat was dysfunctional.
Which is why the next day they were so pleased to find a snake owner.
FREE AND CLEAN. AND WARM!
Okay, gratis mouse. How can anyone resist that offer? He took the mouse.
On his way home he stopped at a bar. One of the patrons asked what was rattling around in the box. He explained the mouse and it's backstory. When he said he was going to feed the mouse to his snake, one of the other customers started shrieking. No! How inhuman! That mouse has EARNED its freedom! You must set it loose in Golden Gate Park! Woe! Woe! Woe!
My friend tried pointing out that a lab mouse, white and plump, wouldn't last a day on it's own in the park. Heck, not even ten minutes. Some seagull would spot it and swoop down, or a real manly cat (not some wussy apartment feline) would come speeding over, or a dog......
The shrieking patron now started singing "born free" at the top of his lungs. The other drinkers glared at him with disgust. That poor mouse! That heartless man! You beast!
Apparently, according to several people, he should feed his snake tofu. And wheat grass.
If he doesn't, he's going to hell.
"Born freeeeee..., free as the roaring tide, so there's no need to hide...., born freeeeeeeeee!"
My friend hurriedly left before a full-scale riot broke out. He does not want to go back to that bar. He had no idea that so many people would take the side of a rodent.
He feels like he nearly got lynched.
But he says that at least his pet snake likes him, and that is all that matters.
HOLIDAY GRAYITY
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8 comments:
Should've had a cat instead. Cats can be fed a vegetarian, although not vegan, diet.
That story says it all; as Herzog said about the ending of STROSZEK, "It is a perfect metaphor...for what, I'm not sure."
The idea of a vegetarian cat gives me the willies.
"What if someone pays you, like 100 squid?"
Are they live squid?
A big mac and e bessss nuggets!
Wikkid!
why has no one remarked on the remarkable retrieving skills of the cat? it demonstrated a high level of skill, more common in specially bred dogs (trained not to break the skin of the fowl they are retrieving). perhaps it could be used to breed a race of super hunting cats that would be faster and easier to care for than dogs.
Cats kept indoors, although usually keen on birds and rodents outside, once confronted with said small critter, won't actually see said critter as a tasty meal. Given that my cats behaved the same way when they found a mouse, my only conclusion is that perhaps in the cat's mind, a mouse is little more than a small weird cat. In the mind of an indoor only cat, that is. It is quite impressive that kitty didn't harm the mouse at all.
Snakes on the other hand? Pinky mice are the best meal. A roommate in college had a ball python - watching it feed was fascinating. The python had its own ritual planned out in advance; its an incredible creature.
Actually, cats have to be taught to kill.
They are instinctive hunters, yes, and will punce and fetch and play. But cats who are not taught by their mothers how to properly kill and consume their prey will likely never develop the skills, unless they are left to fend for themselves and get desparately hungry.
Something interesting there...
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