At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009


Rabbosai, there are times when being able to read Dutch is both a blessing and a .... well, not quite such a blessing.
There are, in fact, times when reading the language of Brederode and Vondel turns up material of a startlingly 'wat heb ik je nou gehalte' ("what have I you now quotient").

If any one ever tells you that the small-town Dutch intellectual world is dull and boring, laugh at them. They don't know what they're talking about.


Consider the following stellar and germane comment placed underneath an article about Ad Melkert becoming the next UN Envoy for Irak on the website of a Dutch-language newspaper:

"Het Pruisisch koninkrijk is 400 jaar geleden naar de USA verhuisd en hebben aldaar onder de Voc-vlag de VOC-daalder ingevoerd, tahns de US-$-dollar.
Iraq wilde in Euro's betaald worden dus de Pruisische maarschalk Rumsfeld was in no time in Iraq.
Dat Melkert gezant van de UN in Iraq wordt is dus GEEN TOEVAL.... Het Nederlands-Pruisisch koninkrijk is namelijk eigenaar van de US-$-dollar."

[Chris - Zaandam - 07/07/09 ]

TRANSLATION: 'The Prussian monarchy moved to the USA four hundred years ago and introduced the VOC (Dutch United East-India Company) dollar there, (which) at present (is) the US-$-dollar.
Iraq wanted to be paid in Euro's, therefore Prussian marshal Rumsfeld was in Iraq in no time.
Ergo, Melkert becoming UN envoy is NO coincidence ..... the Netherlandish-Prussian monarchy is the possessor of the US-$-dollar.'


Elements of several alternative realities have impressed themselves upon the fevered mind of Chris in Zaandam. Rather than pointing out all of the brittle areas of his belief-system, or speculating about what other surprising concepts percolate in his slightly too warm brain, I shall merely inform you that it is cucumber time in Zaandam at present.


Cucumber time ("komkommer tyd") is the slowest part of summer, when thousands of pallid Northern Europeans head to the Costa Del Sol to soak up rays. Consequently everything is quiet on the home front, there are far far fewer normal people to bounce ideas off of, there is an emptiness in the village that is especially oppressive in the dark of night, or just before dawn, when you start hearing those insistent voices in your head again, and they tell you things that at other times you might doubt.......

But what they say makes complete sense now. There is no one around to deny these simple facts, which explain so much, and give you a thrilling sense of 'control' over an otherwise threatening and confusing world. These voices speak knowledge, knowledge is power!

You believe them. Those voices. Because all your friends, your so-called friends (!), who are employable and consequently can AFFORD vacations, have deserted you and headed towards warmer climes. You are alone. Alone. Utterly alone in the darkened silence. Alone except for those comforting voices in your head. They'll NEVER leave you.
They are your true friends.

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  • At 5:35 PM, Blogger DEATH BY NOODLES said…

    Oh good, the Patel pervert is not the first to comment here.

  • At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hmmm. Not quite following the post, yet I feel strangely drawn to the title.

  • At 4:35 PM, Blogger Spiros said…

    Could it be that Patel Sahib has become terminally frustrated by your content moderation? That, without the instant gratification of seeing the Pearls of His Wisdom (sarcasm very much implied) immediately on screen, his interest has waned? These are deep waters...


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