Tuesday, July 14, 2009

THE RAT MEN ARE TAKING OVER!

Amidst the doom and gloom of the biggest financial meltdown of the last several generations, plus several other crises, and while our nation charts a course for a future far less certain than our parents knew, the brave rat men in the Republican party singlemindedly attend to the pressing issues that reflect the values of their severely inbred constituencies. Such as the item below.

Please note that the one democrat listed (Mary Landrieu) is a graduate of the Huey Long school of politics, and consequently does not qualify as being on the same planet as the rest of her party, or for that matter, erect homonids.



SENATORS BROWNBACK AND LANDRIEU INTRODUCE HUMAN-ANIMAL HYBRID PROHIBITION ACT

Quote:
WASHINGTON – U.S. Senator Sam Brownback today with Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) introduced the Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009.

"This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life," said Brownback. "Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice."

The Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act would ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Human-animal hybrids are defined as those part-human, part-animal creatures, which are created in laboratories, and blur the line between species.
[CUT]


Source:
http://senatorsambrownback.blogspot.com/2009/07/brownback-landrieu-introduce-human.html

Co-sponsors: Senators Sam Brownback (R-KS), Mary Landrieu (D-LA), Jim Bunning (R-KY), Richard Burr (R-NC), Saxby Chambliss (R-GA), Tom Coburn (R-OK), Bob Corker (R-TN), John Cornyn (R-TX), Jim DeMint (R-SC), John Ensign (R-NV), Lindsey Graham (R-SC), James Inhofe (R-OK), Mike Johanns (R-NE), Jon Kyl (R-AZ), Mel Martinez (R-FL), John McCain (R-AZ), James Risch (R-ID), John Thune (R-SD), David Vitter (R-LA), George Voinovich (R-OH), and Roger Wicker (R-MS).

-----------------------------------

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!

I was so worried! I was afraid that Kramer's pigman was real. Or that a master race of human-greyhound mixes was gonna take over the country.
I can't run very fast, so you can understand why that second possibility was problematic.
But now, thanks to these stalwart rat-men of the Republican party, all I am concerned about are the acquisitive demi-rodents themselves. Who must be smaller than you or I, and can presumably be stomped on. Thus making road kill. Or sidewalk kill. Unless you find them in your basement, of course, which would make them cellar kill. They could also become backyard kill. Depends on where you stomp. Except if your dog gets to them first. In which case they become indigestible. Whatever. The point is that the rat-men are taking care of the competition!

I hope those evil scientists don't decide to crossbreed pigs and whippets to produce high-speed weasely omnivores with tusks and sharp teeth. That too would be horrible. I can't outrun a whippet (as I'm not very fast...).
They might also try to mix bovines and eagles to make a dangerous warfare beast - it would fly over Moscow and drop potent bio-hazard material.
But I doubt that such a plan would fly.

Thank you, all of you lovely Republican rat-men, you have saved us!
Squeak squeak squeak!


I am in principal absolutely opposed to interspecies crossbreeds. Imagine what would happen if you blended monitor lizards and rednecks! You'd probably end up with Republicans from Kansas! That would be horrid! How many exclamation marks does it take to convince you that that would be bad!?!
The American alligator ('alligator mississippiensis') and a simple sorority girl from Baton Rouge? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Man it’s scary out there.

14 comments:

Telmac said...

I'm sure that the rat-men part makes sense and that it is very funny because of it, but could you please explain to the ignorant child?

The back of the hill said...

If one explains a joke, it loses what makes it funny.

But anyhooooo ...

Suggesting, unsubtly, that the human-animal hybriding has already happened. And produced Republicans with rodent-like characteristics, rat-like and rather despicable, small brained, and spreading disease. Surely real sentient beings, actual humans, would not waste their and the public's time with something so ridiculous?

Or maybe they're playing to the po' dumb hicks and trailerparkers that they expect will believe that such things are possible, and who will consequently out of ignorant fear continue to support a party that all the rest of us know is sodden with opportunists, who in many of their habits are precisely like disease-carrying rodents.

Kler, nu?

Unknown said...

No more sheep? No more llamas?

Sheesh!

Bob

Ari said...

Shotnez and keylieyim, eh? I guess Republicans like to play God.

I wonder if they would outlaw this:

http://blogs.reuters.com/japan/2009/07/13/a-monkey-in-sheeps-clothing/

e-kvetcher said...

I can only listen to politicians after they've been AutoTuned

Spiros said...

Wait a second...I thought GOD Created all the species on the planet, including dinosaur fossils, somewhere around day four or five.

Tzipporah said...

Holy crap e-kvetcher, Auto Tune is the BEST thing I have seen in months.

Granted, I have yet to see the new Harry Potter movie. But still. ;)

GRANT!PATEL! said...

You seem to have a real problem with Republicans. Is that hereditary? Are you in some strange way linked to a repubish strain?

Inquisituve minds want to know.


---Frasent Poontongue

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Oh bhain and mader! Comment moderation! I am healthy and wholesome, I keep telling your! I am not that nosty amphiboo. Trust me, little man, or else!


---Hrunt Podangue

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Somnethaing like a rat in that guarding of the door to the comment vault.

---Krinto Frangle

e-kvetcher said...

>Holy crap e-kvetcher, Auto Tune is the BEST thing I have seen in months.

It is pretty good, ain't it?

The back of the hill said...

It is pretty good, ain't it?
Bit of an understatement. Jolly nice. Rather waiting to see what Spiros, Snooky, and Telmac make of it.

We can disregard Grant.... I rather doubt that he listens to anything at all except Bollywood screetch and whine.

Spiros said...

John Boehner. Uh huh huh huh.

Spiros said...

Does somebody want to explain for Telmac why the name "John Boehner" is funny? Anyone (except for Patel Sahib, that is)?

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