THE RAT MEN ARE TAKING OVER!
Please note that the one democrat listed (Mary Landrieu) is a graduate of the Huey Long school of politics, and consequently does not qualify as being on the same planet as the rest of her party, or for that matter, erect homonids.
SENATORS BROWNBACK AND LANDRIEU INTRODUCE HUMAN-ANIMAL HYBRID PROHIBITION ACT
WASHINGTON – U.S. Senator Sam Brownback today with Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) introduced the Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009.
"This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life," said Brownback. "Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice."
The Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act would ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Human-animal hybrids are defined as those part-human, part-animal creatures, which are created in laboratories, and blur the line between species.
Co-sponsors: Senators Sam Brownback (R-KS), Mary Landrieu (D-LA), Jim Bunning (R-KY), Richard Burr (R-NC), Saxby Chambliss (R-GA), Tom Coburn (R-OK), Bob Corker (R-TN), John Cornyn (R-TX), Jim DeMint (R-SC), John Ensign (R-NV), Lindsey Graham (R-SC), James Inhofe (R-OK), Mike Johanns (R-NE), Jon Kyl (R-AZ), Mel Martinez (R-FL), John McCain (R-AZ), James Risch (R-ID), John Thune (R-SD), David Vitter (R-LA), George Voinovich (R-OH), and Roger Wicker (R-MS).
YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
I was so worried! I was afraid that Kramer's pigman was real. Or that a master race of human-greyhound mixes was gonna take over the country.
I can't run very fast, so you can understand why that second possibility was problematic.
But now, thanks to these stalwart rat-men of the Republican party, all I am concerned about are the acquisitive demi-rodents themselves. Who must be smaller than you or I, and can presumably be stomped on. Thus making road kill. Or sidewalk kill. Unless you find them in your basement, of course, which would make them cellar kill. They could also become backyard kill. Depends on where you stomp. Except if your dog gets to them first. In which case they become indigestible. Whatever. The point is that the rat-men are taking care of the competition!
I hope those evil scientists don't decide to crossbreed pigs and whippets to produce high-speed weasely omnivores with tusks and sharp teeth. That too would be horrible. I can't outrun a whippet (as I'm not very fast...).
They might also try to mix bovines and eagles to make a dangerous warfare beast - it would fly over Moscow and drop potent bio-hazard material.
But I doubt that such a plan would fly.
Thank you, all of you lovely Republican rat-men, you have saved us!
Squeak squeak squeak!
I am in principal absolutely opposed to interspecies crossbreeds. Imagine what would happen if you blended monitor lizards and rednecks! You'd probably end up with Republicans from Kansas! That would be horrid! How many exclamation marks does it take to convince you that that would be bad!?!
The American alligator ('alligator mississippiensis') and a simple sorority girl from Baton Rouge? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Man it’s scary out there.