At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

THE SCREW YOU AWARDS

This blog, which is experiencing burn-out, is pleased to announce the first-ever Back-of-the-Hill SCREW YOU AWARDS.

The screw you awards will be balanced; I am nothing if not a man of compromise and equitability.


So


THE BAY AREA:

To the Bay Area Jews who think I'm too left-wing for them to stand with me at a pro-Israel demonstration:
SCREW YOU.

To the Bay Area Gentiles who think that being pro-Israel is too right-wing:
SCREW YOU.

To the Bay Area Jews who would rather support the Palestinians:
SCREW YOU.

To the Bay Area Gentiles who are too lazy to study the issues but are nevertheless incredibly opinionated about Israel and Palestine:
SCREW YOU.

To the Bay Area Jews who support Israel but don't want to be seen supporting Israel:
SCREW YOU.

To the Bay Area Gentiles who say they support Israel but disapprove of Israel's behaviour:
SCREW YOU.

To the Bay Area Jews who won't get off their duff to protest, but kvetch about how there isn't enough support for Israel:
SCREW YOU.

To the Bay Area Gentiles who are always hypercritical of Israel, but totally and actively supportive of those dear sweet Palliwallies:
SCREW YOU.

To the Christians in the deep South who constantly criticize the Bay Area as too liberal:
SCREW YOU.
[You may be right. But you're wrong on so many things, so SCREW YOU as a matter of principle. Twice. With something sharp and rusty. Okay?]


THE DUTCH AND THE EUROPEANS:

To the Dutch who keep insisting that Americans, Jews, and Israelis are all brutes and barbarians:
SCREW YOU.

To the Europeans who keep harping on the flaws of the United States, real or imagined (mostly imagined):
SCREW YOU.

To the Europeans who cuddle up to every brutal third world regime that is anti-American:
SCREW YOU.

To the Europeans who will endlessly howl about the US and Israel, but never even mention Tibet, Chechnya, Sudan, or Cuba:
SCREW YOU.

To the European governments who collaborate thoroughly with the US on so many issues, but encourage their people to hate the US because, after all, we're a bunch of barbarians:
SCREW YOU.

To the self-satisfied priggish European press, which is so biased and partial that they would only be suited for fish wrap - if the Europeans actually knew how to cook fish:
SCREW YOU.



ISRAEL AND WHATEVER THAT OTHER AREA IS CALLED:

To the Palestinians:
SCREW YOU.

To the other Arabs:
SCREW YOU.

To the Iranians, and, what the heck, the entire Muslim world:
SCREW YOU.

To Shimon Peres:
SCREW YOU.

To Jimmy Carter:
SCREW YOU.

To Condoleeza Rice, who is pressuring Olmert to make impossible concessions:
SCREW YOU.

To Ehud Olmert, who wants to give away the farm:
SCREW YOU.

To Abbas, whose only loyal constituency appears to be Kadima:
SCREW YOU.

To the peaceniks in Israel who support Abbas:
SCREW YOU.

To the European socialists who support the peaceniks:
SCREW YOU.

To the misguided idiots on the left in the US who think the European socialists are wonderful:
SCREW YOU.



THE AMERICANS:

To the Republicans who keep supporting the dumbest president since Bush:
SCREW YOU.

To the Democrats who support Hillary:
SCREW YOU.

To the Democratic congress-people who voted for war:
SCREW YOU.

To the Democratic congress-people who now claim that they were tricked into voting for war:
SCREW YOU.

To the congress-people on both sides who allowed the Bush administration to gut our freedoms:
SCREW YOU.

To the redneck slope-browed inbred hicks who encouraged the Bush administration to gut our freedoms:
SCREW YOU.

To the Democratic Party leaders who sat around with a digit up their rear while our freedoms were gutted:
SCREW YOU.

To the panicky middle-class Americans who approved of the gutting of our freedoms because they were scared of "them":
SCREW YOU.

To Jimmy Carter:
SCREW YOU AGAIN.
I HOPE THAT RABBIT COMES BACK AND GETS YOU.
[You're a nasty little man, and remarkably uneducated. Plus you smell of peanuts. Ick.]



More awards as they come to me. Feel free to add your own candidates to the list. There is plenty of fed-uppedness to go around.


I will not be counter-demonstrating the Bay Area Women in Black this weekend, and I do not know whether I will be doing it the following week either. I need a break. Specifically, I need to wake up late on Saturday for the first time in over half a year, putz around the house in my bathrobe with a pipe in my mouth, and just kick back without having to deal with anyone. Punkt.

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5 Comments:

  • At 3:10 PM, Anonymous graham said…

    Deary me! I'll profess I'm no expert at scr*wing - but the Bay Area Women in Black do not seem to be getting any.

    Sensing that the Blogmeester is feeling frustrated that the rest of western civilisation does not acknowledge the worth of Israel - but would rather cow-tow to all sorts of Baalox...

    then all i'll suggest is that a Saturday at home might be well worth the effort.

    Graham

    PZ3 at hand - Gisela B√ľndchen?

     
  • At 3:20 PM, Blogger Tzipporah said…

    A Saturday morning in? Sounds well deserved.

    Hmm, protest-by-ignoring? Your message is so out of touch I won't even dignify it with a counter-protest? ;-}

    I'd settle for a Saturday night out. Prefereably with a good margarita.

     
  • At 12:30 PM, Blogger Lemuel said…

    Baruch HaShem I am not among the people you listed. Yet I say, SCREW ME....., for not being able to confort you! Please take care of yourself, take a good glas of wine, smoke your favourite tobacco, let Savage Kitten comfort you, take another smoke (before Shabbat :-)), relax all Saturday.
    I say this because I don't want anything to happen with you, but also in our own interest: 1.Yisrael needs guys like you, and we want you to go on supporting Yisrael for many more years.
    2. When I come home from work I long to visit the blog. Notice how selfish I am, so another SCREW ME.

    So, CHEER UP. :-)

     
  • At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow, I bet that felt GREAT!

    R

     
  • At 11:22 PM, Blogger Eclectic Infidel said…

    Well said. Good thing I have those smokes oh hand. After reading that, I find myself craving one. Or two.

     

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