Monday, July 23, 2007

OFFICE TOMORROW INDEED IN YET

E-mail conversation from last year:

JULIUS:
I will be in the SF office bright and early in the morning. So if you have any needs you don’t have to call, but can walk. You can still call if you want, but why not walk. Walking is good exercise.

CHAMAY:
If you ever send another e-mail where, if I didn't see your name as the sender, I would think it was from Einstein, I will rap your knuckles with a ruler.

MALARIA BOB:
That would be in reference to the subject line, of course.
In office tomorrow. Off next week. Out Saturday. In orbit oddly. Up and down, inside out. Yet.

CHAMAY:
Is this what rock cod does to you? I thought fish was brain food.

MALARIA BOB:
All synapses energized & shooting off at random. All six cylinders sparking. Tacquitos and hot sauce. Beano under lock and key at Walgreens, along with extra-strength anti-itch unguents, anti-bacterial creams, and all-day antacids. Because those get stolen most. Note the hyphens. Weird neighborhood.

CASH-APPLICATIONS LADY:
Unsubscribe.

MALARIA BOB:
No-one here gets out. Subscribed!

JULIUS:
I’ve changed my mind… I’m staying home!

MALARIA BOB:
Overruled - bat'lah da'ato etzel kol adam (His opinion is nullified amidst those of the entire human race).


While this was going on, someone else in a different place was wailing that he had misplaced his shel rosh.


Are there any questions?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

perhaps a tiny little one behind the nosepads of the glasses would keep that little sucker from getting "misplaced".

Spiros said...

I realize that the Geneva convention has become increasingly passe, but, just for form's sake, I am all for drafting a clause deprecating the use of tortured syntax.

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