I'M A VERITABLE TZADDIK OF GREEN!

It is the height of summer in the Bay Area. You wouldn't know it from the weather in the city, but across the bay, down the peninsula, and even up in Marin they're burning up energy like nobody's business. So we all have to suffer. Even in San Francisco. Where it is twenty degrees cooler, and the fog blows in every afternoon.
I've worn my overcoat every day this year.

Comes now an e-mail from building management:

Hello,

Curtailment will be required this Thursday, July 5 from 2 pm to 7 pm, based
on the Cal I.S.O. load forecast expected to be over 45,000 megawatts. Please try to contribute by conserving energy in your suite.

--- --- ---

Subsequent thereto, from our office manager:

Here are some good ideas for the company to follow on this Thursday and onward....
1. Turn off all lighting not necessary for safety or productivity or where windows provide sufficient light (conference rooms, bathrooms, kitchen, your office....etc..)

2. Turn off office equipment, computers, printers, monitors, and other electrical equipment that does not require your productivity. (Turn off every night as well.)

3. Keep windows closed while HVAC system is running.

4. Turn off desk lamps, floor heaters and fans when you are away from your desk.

5. Take the elevator in groups of five employees or more.

--- --- ---

My own immediate e-mail contribution:

Looking for four other smokers with whom to co-ordinate elevator schedule.
Please advise.

--- --- ---

And that got me thinking......

The most efficient use of the elevator is when the "ambient" energy (meaning gravity) lessens the energy required to operate the machine.
Ergo, I urge all employees to only take the elevator down. Just think of how much energy you'll save by reducing your elevator use by half!

Then the coffee kicked in.....
And I thought about the huge amounts of oxygen created by fields of growing plants. Plants such as tobacco, for instance - a crop which utilizes vast acreages all over the world. Each smoker's beneficial impact on the planet is probably at least double that of a non-smoker, and each new smoker is directly responsible for an exponential increase in the amount of oxygen. Just think of how much oxygen you'll create by taking up smoking!

Having smoked since I was fourteen, you can imagine how freaking virtuous I'm feeling right now.

I'm a veritable tzaddik of green, oh yes.
I think I'll have another smoke now.
As is my saintly wont.