Over the past half year, two pipe tobaccos have been brought to market with a tin aroma that can only be described as Limburger cheese. Which, if you're familiar with it, makes you really wonder why there isn't a giant wall around the province. We need to isolate those people. For the good of humanity. I've sent a letter to Greta Thunberg demanding she get on it pronto.
It's not as bad as surströmming, durian, and stinky tofu, but evenso.
Perhaps Greta Thunberg will ignore the letter.
She eats surströmming.
This proves, I think, that important world matters can not be left in the hands of Swedes, no good can possibly come of that. Good lord, bloody vikings. Boring flatheaded Scandinavian oafs, still the same gang of psychopathic killers they were a thousand years ago.
In any case, they're splendid tobaccos, and I've stockpiled quite a bit of one of them. Several reviewers describe the tin notes as "yeasty", which is of course meant euphemistically, like describing a screaming brat having a tantrum at the mall as a "darling little moppet". Or British cuisine as "edible". Good tobacco, though. Damned fine stuff.
Which convinces me the world is ready for this.
During a heat wave several years ago the bookseller and myself enjoyed glasses of wine (*styrofoam cups) at a bistro (*dive) in North Beach one evening, which because the bottle (*box) had been subjected to high temperatures for many hours, were educational.
Storage under optimum conditions brought out its natural flavour.
It tasted of existential despair and teen spirit.
Sweatsocks and flatulence.
Some things should make you question whether there is any meaning to your life.
NOTE: I shan't name either of the excellent tobaccos I mentioned, because I do not wish to be accused of either encouraging young children to go out and buy tins of it and boosting their value, OR discouraging their sale and making them a drug on the market. I am an innocent non-mercantile disseminator of information only.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.
Thursday, January 19, 2023
WHITE POACHED CHICKEN -- CHOPSTICKABLE CHUNKS
One of the marvelous things about living in San Francisco is that one can eat like a refined elderly Chinese gentleman, while the little Cantonese girls at the next table are indulging in their middle-America tastes big time. They were seriously nomming on the French fries and plates of spaghetti covered with ham chunks, melted white cheddar cheese, and a fried egg.
Meanwhile, I was having fun with white poached chicken (白切雞 'paak chit kai') and the traditional dip of scallions, ginger, salt, chicken grease or cooking oil. Or, if you are a Dutch American like myself, also a small saucer or chilipaste (sambal), because EVERYTHING goes with chilipaste.
White poached chicken is simple. And exactly what the name suggests. A chicken, poached in water. Then chopped into chunks suitable for chopsticking. Jade Snow Wong, my mother's classmate at Mills, describes it very well in her first book, if I remember correctly. The author of The Woks of Life has an excellent recipe: CANTONESE POACHED CHICKEN.
So I ain't gonna bother giving you my version of it.
I didn't innovate in the slightest.
If you're middle-American, you'll probably want fries with that.
And a bottle of tomato ketchup. Instead of fries and ketchup, may I suggest stirfried mustard greens with garlic and oyster sauce? Mustard stalk and leaves (油菜 'yau choi'; "oil vegetable") are among my favourite vegetables, easy to prepare, and lightly sauced they become delicious. Or, if you are a lazy Dutch American just go to a nearby restaurant and order one plate of chicken(一碟白切雞 'yat dip paak chit kai') with a side of 蠔油炒油菜苗 ('hou yau chaau yau choi miu'; "oyster-oil sauteed oil-vegetable sprouts", baby mustard stirfried with oyster sauce). 加少少蒜。
Paak chit kai is also appropriate for your "opening the year" feast with relatives during the spring festival (春節 'chwun jit') coming up in a few days. Prepare it for late dinner Saturday evening (January 21), because the last day to cook is before the actual date of New Year (Sunday January 22).
[There's another good dish for New Year mentioned here: ho si fat choi 好事發財. Also, have dumplings.]
By the way: In almost all cases where ketchup is used, you'll find that Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce is far better. You should seriously consider it.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Meanwhile, I was having fun with white poached chicken (白切雞 'paak chit kai') and the traditional dip of scallions, ginger, salt, chicken grease or cooking oil. Or, if you are a Dutch American like myself, also a small saucer or chilipaste (sambal), because EVERYTHING goes with chilipaste.
White poached chicken is simple. And exactly what the name suggests. A chicken, poached in water. Then chopped into chunks suitable for chopsticking. Jade Snow Wong, my mother's classmate at Mills, describes it very well in her first book, if I remember correctly. The author of The Woks of Life has an excellent recipe: CANTONESE POACHED CHICKEN.
So I ain't gonna bother giving you my version of it.
I didn't innovate in the slightest.
If you're middle-American, you'll probably want fries with that.
And a bottle of tomato ketchup. Instead of fries and ketchup, may I suggest stirfried mustard greens with garlic and oyster sauce? Mustard stalk and leaves (油菜 'yau choi'; "oil vegetable") are among my favourite vegetables, easy to prepare, and lightly sauced they become delicious. Or, if you are a lazy Dutch American just go to a nearby restaurant and order one plate of chicken(一碟白切雞 'yat dip paak chit kai') with a side of 蠔油炒油菜苗 ('hou yau chaau yau choi miu'; "oyster-oil sauteed oil-vegetable sprouts", baby mustard stirfried with oyster sauce). 加少少蒜。
Paak chit kai is also appropriate for your "opening the year" feast with relatives during the spring festival (春節 'chwun jit') coming up in a few days. Prepare it for late dinner Saturday evening (January 21), because the last day to cook is before the actual date of New Year (Sunday January 22).
[There's another good dish for New Year mentioned here: ho si fat choi 好事發財. Also, have dumplings.]
By the way: In almost all cases where ketchup is used, you'll find that Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce is far better. You should seriously consider it.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Wednesday, January 18, 2023
IT'S EDUCATIONAL!
The internet can be relied on for many things. Mis-information, news, the latest Trumpian outrage, whatever weird cannibalistic fantasies Texan politicians have, and oil-change advice. Plus much modern medicine.
A doctor on my Facebook feed forwards a valuable word of advice:
Please. Do. Not. Use. Q-Tips. To. Clean. Your. Ears. Thank. You.
--Your Tympanic Membranes
Please do not use Q-tips to clean your ears!
From personal experience, do not use a bent pipe cleaner. You'll end up in ER, waiting for hours, while EVERY medical student for miles around comes into your room, asks politely "are you the idiot with a bent pipecleaner stuck in your ear?", then looks at the side of your head and states (with appropriate gravitas), "when I was in med school they told me to never stick anything smaller than my elbow in there". It took half a day for them to finally locate the right tray of tools and twiggity things to remove it. But at least my girlfriend at the time can't say I wasn't exciting.
She's still a very good friend. But we aren't romantically involved anymore. The affair with the pipe cleaners had nothing to do with it. And I paid her back for the taxi ride to the hospital.
Perhaps what we can all learn from this is don't clean your ears. Go ahead, let them get grungy from everything out there on the street. Motor oil, open jars of ink, cigarette butts, discarded pizza scraps..... let the little rascals run free.
A friend once had cheese stuck in his ear.
He really likes cheese.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
A doctor on my Facebook feed forwards a valuable word of advice:
Please. Do. Not. Use. Q-Tips. To. Clean. Your. Ears. Thank. You.
--Your Tympanic Membranes
Please do not use Q-tips to clean your ears!
From personal experience, do not use a bent pipe cleaner. You'll end up in ER, waiting for hours, while EVERY medical student for miles around comes into your room, asks politely "are you the idiot with a bent pipecleaner stuck in your ear?", then looks at the side of your head and states (with appropriate gravitas), "when I was in med school they told me to never stick anything smaller than my elbow in there". It took half a day for them to finally locate the right tray of tools and twiggity things to remove it. But at least my girlfriend at the time can't say I wasn't exciting.
She's still a very good friend. But we aren't romantically involved anymore. The affair with the pipe cleaners had nothing to do with it. And I paid her back for the taxi ride to the hospital.
Perhaps what we can all learn from this is don't clean your ears. Go ahead, let them get grungy from everything out there on the street. Motor oil, open jars of ink, cigarette butts, discarded pizza scraps..... let the little rascals run free.
A friend once had cheese stuck in his ear.
He really likes cheese.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
IT STARTS WITH MICE
The creature was disturbed by the Caucasian woman walking down the alleyway with a camera, possibly publicity shy. Further on a skeevy looking Caucasian dude was pawing through the huge pile of garbage at the corner -- perhaps I already mentioned previously that trash pick-up in Chinatown is insufficient, possibly because our city fathers wish to see the neighborhood only in terms of votes when necessary, as well as a magnet for tourist, not heaven forfend as a residential neighborhood with lots of people living in housing that white folks wouldn't tolerate, and not as bitchy and demanding (effective at getting their voices heard) as all the non-Chinese in this city -- so lately the area has been seemingly overrun with skeevy Lofans being caveman-like. And dammit, more Lofans in Ross Alley.
You'd think it was all colourful and picturesque.
Or something like that.
While smoking my pipe on Grant Avenue, a passerby offered to sell me weed. It struck me at that time that it had been ages since I'd encountered "the most dangerous man in North Beach", a notorious pot-head. We need the weather to improve so that there are more people about at night and the Lofans are diluted, as well as less bold in their skeeviness.
Burger, fries, wine, soft drink, hot tea, and beer.
Then the karaoke joint. Where the dumbest waiter in Chinatown was trying to soak up some emo-dude on screen. The Hong Kong version of Nickelback, possibly. Every single song he sang was filled with existential angst. You could cut the meaningfulness with a knife.
Someone tried to sell me an attaché case outside, there was a spare changer who went up the street at the Bank of America.
There were no rats running around at the bus stop on the way home. Last week there had been four. I miss them.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
You'd think it was all colourful and picturesque.
Or something like that.
While smoking my pipe on Grant Avenue, a passerby offered to sell me weed. It struck me at that time that it had been ages since I'd encountered "the most dangerous man in North Beach", a notorious pot-head. We need the weather to improve so that there are more people about at night and the Lofans are diluted, as well as less bold in their skeeviness.
Burger, fries, wine, soft drink, hot tea, and beer.
Then the karaoke joint. Where the dumbest waiter in Chinatown was trying to soak up some emo-dude on screen. The Hong Kong version of Nickelback, possibly. Every single song he sang was filled with existential angst. You could cut the meaningfulness with a knife.
Someone tried to sell me an attaché case outside, there was a spare changer who went up the street at the Bank of America.
There were no rats running around at the bus stop on the way home. Last week there had been four. I miss them.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Tuesday, January 17, 2023
THINGS THAT GO BUMP DURING THE DAY
My landlords, AND the building owners next door, are constructing an impenetrable bunker and tunnel system to protect us when Texas or Mars invades. At least that's what it sounds like. Texas is more likely. I understand that "Texas needs women". There are none there. Bumps, thumps, knocking, and the sounds of hammers and machinery from both directly upstairs and the garden area next door. A cynic would assume that these are all connected, and possibly linked to the demolition of a religious building barely a block over -- this blogger heartily approves of that, by the way -- but if anything I am an optimistic trusting sort, and will therefore assume that this will benefit all of us. And I am overjoyed to be in the centre of it.
[The Demolition of religious buildings: Look, if we get rid of all such, most of which are Gothic in style, then there will be no more Goth chicks, right? Black eyeshadow and lipstick will no longer exist. It's a win-win. Everyone benefits.]
And precisely like the Maginot Line, on which many such defensive lines were modelled, it will be splendid for picnics and outings on sunny days. Which, remarkably, today is.
So I hope that they get it done soon.
We all need a break, don't we?
I'm thinking a basket of Vietnamese sandwiches (bánh mì), some zesty potato salad, and a bottle of Chardonnay. With some fresh fruit for after. Mangoes. Bananas. Lychees.
It's fifty five degrees Fahrenheit outside. Positively tropical. Par. Tay.
Dammit, I just heard something crash. Maybe they dropped the cement mixer. It's a bit too loud for comfort. Asperger folks like myself startle easily and don't like loud noises.
I should bail out for an hour or two and run some errands.
If Texas invades, it will get really loud around here.
They're all sound and fury, no substance.
No wonder they need women.
They've got a very good bass section, mind, but no top tenors that's for sure.
Time to head out for lunch.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
[The Demolition of religious buildings: Look, if we get rid of all such, most of which are Gothic in style, then there will be no more Goth chicks, right? Black eyeshadow and lipstick will no longer exist. It's a win-win. Everyone benefits.]
And precisely like the Maginot Line, on which many such defensive lines were modelled, it will be splendid for picnics and outings on sunny days. Which, remarkably, today is.
So I hope that they get it done soon.
We all need a break, don't we?
I'm thinking a basket of Vietnamese sandwiches (bánh mì), some zesty potato salad, and a bottle of Chardonnay. With some fresh fruit for after. Mangoes. Bananas. Lychees.
城門棱堡 or 城門碉堡 The Shing Mun Redoubt, or Gate Bunker ('seng mun ling pou', 'seng mun tiu pou';
aka "Strand Palace Hotel"), with entrances to "Regent Street" and "Shaftesbury Avenue". Not an upscale
shopping district, but a part of Gin Drinker's Line (醉酒灣防綫 'jeui jau waan fong sin') at Shing Mun
(城門 'seng mun'), during the Second World War (第二次世界大戰 'daai yi chi sai gaai daai jin').
It's fifty five degrees Fahrenheit outside. Positively tropical. Par. Tay.
Dammit, I just heard something crash. Maybe they dropped the cement mixer. It's a bit too loud for comfort. Asperger folks like myself startle easily and don't like loud noises.
I should bail out for an hour or two and run some errands.
If Texas invades, it will get really loud around here.
They're all sound and fury, no substance.
No wonder they need women.
They've got a very good bass section, mind, but no top tenors that's for sure.
Time to head out for lunch.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
IT'S NOT FIXED
Yesterday was filled with symptoms. Coughing, sneezing, and minor aching. Probably a long delayed bout of influenza, rather than a cold. With a medium level of physical misery. Much like Sunday, except more so, without the debilitating stomach cramps that marked the end of that day. Monday evening was mainly a runny nose. Like a leaky faucet.
Haven't sounded so wheezy and leaky since 2019.
By mid afternoon, feeling peckish, I fixed myself something simple; broad rice stick noodles with little bits of spiced meat, chopped veggies, mushroom stock, chilipaste, and fried crab paste from Thailand, plus plenty of slivered ginger. Mostly rice stick noodles.
Something mild and comforting, in other words.
Easy on the digestion.
Lunch was NOT followed by a good smoke, as it customarily is.
Didn't go down to C'town for milk tea and a biscuit.
The routine was necessarily out of whack.
Discombobulatory, and irritating. Today will and must be quite different. Bank, eaties in Chinatown, and a hot cup of milk tea. Followed by a pipe. The illustration above was chosen because it's Tuesday, not because panties are part of the programme. They haven't been for years. Tuesday.
Of course it did not help that I am a member of six pipe groups on Facebook. So there were tonnes of photos of happy men smoking pipes, handsome pipes next to tins of tobacco, men doing things that men do while smoking pipes, idiots being hobbits, gandalf, and someone with a fetish for big, big, BIG pipes (who probably has a tiny willie), as well as briar pipes being made, filled, and lit.
Didn't smoke a pipe at all yesterday. But I did polish the rims of two nice old items with microfibre pads, one of which will be smoked after a plate of whatever over rice later today. Could have jook, could have something sautéed and sauced. The latter with gobs of hot sauce, the first with a yautiu, no chili.
Considering the amount of sneezing yesterday, my nose seems determined to be a pain in the gand. It may be defective. Possessed. Dammit.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Haven't sounded so wheezy and leaky since 2019.
By mid afternoon, feeling peckish, I fixed myself something simple; broad rice stick noodles with little bits of spiced meat, chopped veggies, mushroom stock, chilipaste, and fried crab paste from Thailand, plus plenty of slivered ginger. Mostly rice stick noodles.
Something mild and comforting, in other words.
Easy on the digestion.
Lunch was NOT followed by a good smoke, as it customarily is.
Didn't go down to C'town for milk tea and a biscuit.
The routine was necessarily out of whack.
Discombobulatory, and irritating. Today will and must be quite different. Bank, eaties in Chinatown, and a hot cup of milk tea. Followed by a pipe. The illustration above was chosen because it's Tuesday, not because panties are part of the programme. They haven't been for years. Tuesday.
Of course it did not help that I am a member of six pipe groups on Facebook. So there were tonnes of photos of happy men smoking pipes, handsome pipes next to tins of tobacco, men doing things that men do while smoking pipes, idiots being hobbits, gandalf, and someone with a fetish for big, big, BIG pipes (who probably has a tiny willie), as well as briar pipes being made, filled, and lit.
Didn't smoke a pipe at all yesterday. But I did polish the rims of two nice old items with microfibre pads, one of which will be smoked after a plate of whatever over rice later today. Could have jook, could have something sautéed and sauced. The latter with gobs of hot sauce, the first with a yautiu, no chili.
Considering the amount of sneezing yesterday, my nose seems determined to be a pain in the gand. It may be defective. Possessed. Dammit.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Monday, January 16, 2023
THE WEATHER IS GETTING TO ME
For some reason I thought a lot about people I used to know in Valkenswaard when I was still there. Old classmates. Anita, Annette, Astrid. Barbara ('Baps'), Bertina ('Bertje'). Bob, Freek, Herman, Jos, Sebastiaan, Thomas. Et mult altres. The first girl in that list would kick me fiercely in the shins (grammar school) whenever I voiced my distaste for her nasty younger brother, who was probably a psychopath and may be in jail. High school was a slice of reality also, with various unbalanced teenagers. Many people become more loosely moored during that period of their life -- hormones and sugar -- and several people never grow out of it. In the United States they often become loud football fans and are unbearable till they die.
Yesterday and the day before that was irritatingly evident.
Screaming, shouting, and the wetting of boxers.
Winter would be semi-tolerable if it weren't for sportsfans, floods, hearing about the fabulous skiing at Tahoe, sleet, stormsurges, and influenza. In an ideal universe at least two of those would be taken away. The first one definitely.
Regarding floods, despite text messages last week warning me of imminent danger, I'm okay with that. I live on a hill, so the polar ice caps would have to melt before it impacted me. Well, other than garbage removal, probably. Without trash pick-up, there would be croaked sportsfans all over the place, faded and defunct. Drained and exhausted from screaming all day, they fell asleep after drinking too much and died in the night, and are now covered with a dense layer of snow and rain and empty beer cans. Early morning commuters stumble over them, spilling half of their Starbucks frappospressies on their way to the watertaxis that will take them downtown to their job at Glibbiter Inc. and Pirate Rape Finance.
Massive floods would probably impact garbage services.
The raccoons and coyotes would feast. Raccoons here in the North East Quadrant, Coyotes out in the Marina. The seagulls are just in Union Square, fortunately.
In fact, raccoons will be happily snuggled up in their coverlets, when they hear yet another football fan fall over with a wet soggy plop, bloated from junkfood and beer, and they'll say to themselves "nah, I'll pass, they smell rotten", then go back to sleep. Because many fans are like ambulatory garbage bags, and their credit cards are all maxxed out anyway from orgies at the sportsbar. And they're not worth harvesting organs from for the black market.
The liver and kidneys are all damaged from over-indulgence.
Raccoons need pizza. The sportsfans ate it all. Bounders!
I think I'll spend all day under the covers today.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Yesterday and the day before that was irritatingly evident.
Screaming, shouting, and the wetting of boxers.
Winter would be semi-tolerable if it weren't for sportsfans, floods, hearing about the fabulous skiing at Tahoe, sleet, stormsurges, and influenza. In an ideal universe at least two of those would be taken away. The first one definitely.
Regarding floods, despite text messages last week warning me of imminent danger, I'm okay with that. I live on a hill, so the polar ice caps would have to melt before it impacted me. Well, other than garbage removal, probably. Without trash pick-up, there would be croaked sportsfans all over the place, faded and defunct. Drained and exhausted from screaming all day, they fell asleep after drinking too much and died in the night, and are now covered with a dense layer of snow and rain and empty beer cans. Early morning commuters stumble over them, spilling half of their Starbucks frappospressies on their way to the watertaxis that will take them downtown to their job at Glibbiter Inc. and Pirate Rape Finance.
Massive floods would probably impact garbage services.
The raccoons and coyotes would feast. Raccoons here in the North East Quadrant, Coyotes out in the Marina. The seagulls are just in Union Square, fortunately.
In fact, raccoons will be happily snuggled up in their coverlets, when they hear yet another football fan fall over with a wet soggy plop, bloated from junkfood and beer, and they'll say to themselves "nah, I'll pass, they smell rotten", then go back to sleep. Because many fans are like ambulatory garbage bags, and their credit cards are all maxxed out anyway from orgies at the sportsbar. And they're not worth harvesting organs from for the black market.
The liver and kidneys are all damaged from over-indulgence.
Raccoons need pizza. The sportsfans ate it all. Bounders!
I think I'll spend all day under the covers today.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Sunday, January 15, 2023
GREAT MOMENTS IN DUTCH DIPLOMACY
My apartment mate is much more of a Cantonese chauvenist vis-à-vis the recently immigrated Mandarin-speaking crowd than I could ever be. Reason being that she is Cantonese, whereas I am merely a Dutch-ethnic person who happens to speak Canto.
We Dutch are rather clever when it comes to languages. She grew up in San Francisco Chinatown and fondly remembers the neighborhood before all those Northerners started showing up all over the place, and just cannot develop any affection for the snootiness.
Or mushmouthed pukey sound of Mandarin.
Or their rude pushiness.
So, being an equitable man I never shared with her the snarky poster that kept showing up at Hong Kong protests, which basically takes issue with the Northern inability to adhere to the norms of civilized behaviour. OR speak like proper human beings.
I love everybody, including the Hunanese.
Bless them all.
Some of my best friends speak Mandarin.
Or Shanghainese. Almost the same.
A little more hissy-spitty.
Plus we Dutch can be rather blunt too, so I'm sort of okay with them not washing themselves very much and always swilling boba beverages, it "humanizes" them.
Heung gong yan gong gwon tung waa, teng m sik jau faan heung haa. Hong Kong people speak Cantonese, if you don't understand it, return to the countryside.
The problem with the text is two-fold: firstly it depends on non-simplified characters, and secondly you'd probably have to speak Cantonese to actually understand it.
Thirdly, most Cantonese are too polite and not given to assertive in your face manifestations of an undiplomatic character to utilize it, unless like the Hong Kongers they were totally fed up with the Hunanese or other yokels. Just not done, don't ya know.
So yes, I've never shared this with her.
I don't think I should.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
We Dutch are rather clever when it comes to languages. She grew up in San Francisco Chinatown and fondly remembers the neighborhood before all those Northerners started showing up all over the place, and just cannot develop any affection for the snootiness.
Or mushmouthed pukey sound of Mandarin.
Or their rude pushiness.
So, being an equitable man I never shared with her the snarky poster that kept showing up at Hong Kong protests, which basically takes issue with the Northern inability to adhere to the norms of civilized behaviour. OR speak like proper human beings.
I love everybody, including the Hunanese.
Bless them all.
Some of my best friends speak Mandarin.
Or Shanghainese. Almost the same.
A little more hissy-spitty.
Plus we Dutch can be rather blunt too, so I'm sort of okay with them not washing themselves very much and always swilling boba beverages, it "humanizes" them.
香港人講廣東話,聽唔識就翻鄉下。
Heung gong yan gong gwon tung waa, teng m sik jau faan heung haa. Hong Kong people speak Cantonese, if you don't understand it, return to the countryside.
The problem with the text is two-fold: firstly it depends on non-simplified characters, and secondly you'd probably have to speak Cantonese to actually understand it.
Thirdly, most Cantonese are too polite and not given to assertive in your face manifestations of an undiplomatic character to utilize it, unless like the Hong Kongers they were totally fed up with the Hunanese or other yokels. Just not done, don't ya know.
So yes, I've never shared this with her.
I don't think I should.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT?
Perhaps it was indigestion. Weird dreams. More than likely, however, it was a side-effect of the bloodpressure meds, as was warned of in the tiny print. Like many cigar manufacturers, medicine companies expect their demographic to consist of young vibrant twenty-somethings with perfect eye-sight, perfectly capable of reading microscopic text.
They may be slightly clueless.
What the heck does that say?
"If condition lasts for more than ten days, go directly to the emergency room and call a priest. Don't drive or operate any machinery while taking this medication. Do not smoke this cigar around little children or easily triggered people from Berkeley. Don't look behind you."
"May cause nightmare visions."
Well, the priest, machinery, and little children aren't mentioned. But the words are too small to read, so they might as well be.
Whatever it is, it's gaining on me.
And wants to talk about Jesus.
I had a bag of Jalapeño-flavoured potato chips for dinner last night.
Might not have been totally well- dvised.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
They may be slightly clueless.
What the heck does that say?
"If condition lasts for more than ten days, go directly to the emergency room and call a priest. Don't drive or operate any machinery while taking this medication. Do not smoke this cigar around little children or easily triggered people from Berkeley. Don't look behind you."
"May cause nightmare visions."
Well, the priest, machinery, and little children aren't mentioned. But the words are too small to read, so they might as well be.
Whatever it is, it's gaining on me.
And wants to talk about Jesus.
I had a bag of Jalapeño-flavoured potato chips for dinner last night.
Might not have been totally well- dvised.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Saturday, January 14, 2023
THAT STUFF THAT MAKES YOU ITCH
In all honesty, I liked that famous actor back when he was still fresh and innocent. Before he developed a chemical problem, was divorced multiple times, arrested on battery charges, and forced to register as a sex offender. He seemed more special then.
Now he's just an elderly syphilitic Republican.
Not particularly interesting or unique.
The spark is gone.
I'll assume that like many celebrities his breath is bad with a Bourbon undertone.
He reminds me of several people I have been avoiding for years. Rather seedy types. Investment bankers, junior executives, failed lawyers, and up and coming real estate speculators. Plus a few people living off the rent they charge for their properties in commercial areas. They are, naturally, cigar smokers. They are awash with the reek of expensive Bourbon.
Drenched in that paint thinner essence.
Hint of caramelized charcoal.
I've heard that some of them are married. Yet strangely, their wives don't spend any time at all with them, but enthusiastically let them out of the house. They're hoping John-boy goes playing in traffic.
These are very American men. Some of them are from Texas or New York. You can't get much more American than that.
By the way, you know that curiosity that makes you regularly examine the nasty canine fecal deposit on the sidewalk outside, that despite the fairly constant rain has not washed away in over a week, but simply turned more like a lump of reddish coral, twixt Sienna and Ochre in hue, kind of like fresh rust? Precisely so. Republicans.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Now he's just an elderly syphilitic Republican.
Not particularly interesting or unique.
The spark is gone.
I'll assume that like many celebrities his breath is bad with a Bourbon undertone.
He reminds me of several people I have been avoiding for years. Rather seedy types. Investment bankers, junior executives, failed lawyers, and up and coming real estate speculators. Plus a few people living off the rent they charge for their properties in commercial areas. They are, naturally, cigar smokers. They are awash with the reek of expensive Bourbon.
Drenched in that paint thinner essence.
Hint of caramelized charcoal.
I've heard that some of them are married. Yet strangely, their wives don't spend any time at all with them, but enthusiastically let them out of the house. They're hoping John-boy goes playing in traffic.
These are very American men. Some of them are from Texas or New York. You can't get much more American than that.
By the way, you know that curiosity that makes you regularly examine the nasty canine fecal deposit on the sidewalk outside, that despite the fairly constant rain has not washed away in over a week, but simply turned more like a lump of reddish coral, twixt Sienna and Ochre in hue, kind of like fresh rust? Precisely so. Republicans.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Friday, January 13, 2023
A GOOD BEGINNING
Largely I tend to avoid reading English detective novels. The main characters are precious eccentrics, all not-fully English people are shown as flawed -- Irishmen, French, Dutch, Jews, you name it -- and the settings are unreal. "She lifted her delicate porcelain teacup to her well-manicured lips while looking disdainfully at the Dutchman with his muddy boots and vulgar purple shirt. The churchbells rang out to announce another dead foreigner on the village green. This one possibly not deceased because of the cholera, typhoid, and plague that those people are often rife with, but foul play; it had been the native custom to announce bloody deaths with joyous peels since the time of Æthelred. Thoughtfully she nibbled on a buttered scone. Evil was afoot. Vulgar, lower class, and likely continental."
Miss Doylie is a typical prim English spinster, possibly a lesbian but nowhere is that even suggested, though her best friends are mostly women, and the man with whom she goes to the theatre is clearly a public school boy with utterly no interest in the female gender other than emulative, who thrills at the prospect of pain and humilation.
Her pearls are a little too large and showy.
She is, in other words, perfect for the role of British amateur sleuth.
The murderers often turn out be Americans or uneducated.
Her accent is, naturally, 'received pronunciation'.
She is retired from a chemical career.
Lives in East Wotting.
In real life, East Wotting has changed considerably since the war. The "not quite our class dear" people now seem to dominate, though in the novels they are safely at bay, as was the fond dream of many people after they had been forced to deal with the rest of the world by the conflict on the continent and the loss of empire. Mister Patel runs the post office, Abdullah Mangalpatti bought the afternoon tea place, Twinkles Rest, where he makes the best scones, crumpets, and sugared fruit cakes, as well as an entire line of traditional British fruit jams (they are excellent, you should buy some), and Jagmeet ('Jack') Singh has the chipper. The pub is run by Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski. In summer the town is overrun by American tourists, who come for the famous cucumber sandwiches, steak and kidney pie, boiled eels, and morris dance festival. East Wotting is mentioned in all the guide books.
Alas, I have no idea what to do about the rest of the murder mystery I started above. Maybe the dead man is a rotundFrenchman Belgian who finally got done in by his bestie Hastings. The nasty Frog Pomme Frite probably said something snarky about scones with fruit preserves and clotted cream. Odious cretin.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Miss Doylie is a typical prim English spinster, possibly a lesbian but nowhere is that even suggested, though her best friends are mostly women, and the man with whom she goes to the theatre is clearly a public school boy with utterly no interest in the female gender other than emulative, who thrills at the prospect of pain and humilation.
Her pearls are a little too large and showy.
She is, in other words, perfect for the role of British amateur sleuth.
The murderers often turn out be Americans or uneducated.
Her accent is, naturally, 'received pronunciation'.
She is retired from a chemical career.
Lives in East Wotting.
In real life, East Wotting has changed considerably since the war. The "not quite our class dear" people now seem to dominate, though in the novels they are safely at bay, as was the fond dream of many people after they had been forced to deal with the rest of the world by the conflict on the continent and the loss of empire. Mister Patel runs the post office, Abdullah Mangalpatti bought the afternoon tea place, Twinkles Rest, where he makes the best scones, crumpets, and sugared fruit cakes, as well as an entire line of traditional British fruit jams (they are excellent, you should buy some), and Jagmeet ('Jack') Singh has the chipper. The pub is run by Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski. In summer the town is overrun by American tourists, who come for the famous cucumber sandwiches, steak and kidney pie, boiled eels, and morris dance festival. East Wotting is mentioned in all the guide books.
Alas, I have no idea what to do about the rest of the murder mystery I started above. Maybe the dead man is a rotund
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Thursday, January 12, 2023
PIE OF MY EYE
Having gotten out of the house late, after accomplishing nothing at all all day (other than losing a computer painting which I had worked on for five hours obsessively, due to an idiotic mistake - operator error), it was already late when I stumbled into the bakery for milk tea and a pastry. And because I had overlooked lunch, as well as not eaten breakfast, my bloodsugar was at a monumental low. Even though it has not rained today, several days of weather that limited my outdoor activities affected me. European style greyness can have that effect.
So I was somewhat gloomfilled. Not at my emotional twinkling best.
Not clinical, just not fully up there.
I've had better days.
Still, the company of four retired gentlemen, a hot cup of milk tea, and a little chicken pie restored me somewhat. As did a bowlful of good tobacco in an elegant pipe afterwards.
Rattray's Old Gowrie in a Charatan black sandblast. I think the wetness in the air is affecting the baked products. The little chicken pie practically fell apart. It's like the crust, which is normally delightful, lacked cohesion.
Later, walking past where Yong kee (容記糕粉) used to be, I realized that I missed that shop. They've been gone for over ten years now, closed in the Spring of 2012. They had the best of various things, generations of Chinatown had relied on them, but like many fine old C'town businesses, there was no one to catch the baton, so to speak. When the American success story yields medical and engineering degrees, you can't expect the offspring to reject that and instead work for long hours under grinding conditions for little reward.
I don't think they ever made little chicken pies. Little chicken pies are much more a Hong Kong thing, and the place where I had my tea is probably the best bakery in that regard. Their egg tarts are also totally scrumptious, fresh batch out of the oven close to four thirty (啱啱出爐嘅 'ngaam ngaam chut lou ge').
There are times when such thing hit the mental spot.
I was in a cheerier mood after my tea time.
It may have been the caffeine.
That too.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
So I was somewhat gloomfilled. Not at my emotional twinkling best.
Not clinical, just not fully up there.
I've had better days.
Still, the company of four retired gentlemen, a hot cup of milk tea, and a little chicken pie restored me somewhat. As did a bowlful of good tobacco in an elegant pipe afterwards.
Rattray's Old Gowrie in a Charatan black sandblast. I think the wetness in the air is affecting the baked products. The little chicken pie practically fell apart. It's like the crust, which is normally delightful, lacked cohesion.
Later, walking past where Yong kee (容記糕粉) used to be, I realized that I missed that shop. They've been gone for over ten years now, closed in the Spring of 2012. They had the best of various things, generations of Chinatown had relied on them, but like many fine old C'town businesses, there was no one to catch the baton, so to speak. When the American success story yields medical and engineering degrees, you can't expect the offspring to reject that and instead work for long hours under grinding conditions for little reward.
I don't think they ever made little chicken pies. Little chicken pies are much more a Hong Kong thing, and the place where I had my tea is probably the best bakery in that regard. Their egg tarts are also totally scrumptious, fresh batch out of the oven close to four thirty (啱啱出爐嘅 'ngaam ngaam chut lou ge').
There are times when such thing hit the mental spot.
I was in a cheerier mood after my tea time.
It may have been the caffeine.
That too.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
BEFORE DAWN HAS WELL AND TRULY CRACKED
Sad to say, this blogger is not ready for the modern world. I suppose I should be overjoyed at the convenience of my cell-phone -- three years ago I still had a land line -- and how compact and multifaceted it is. As well as that people are calling me, quite anxious to hear my voice. They demand to know whether I have Medicare parts A and B, and have I given serious thoughts to covering my burial expenses.
Of course had I not been looking for dental insurance a while back they wouldn't be calling.
[Dave from your local air duct service company hasn't called in ages.]
Their concern is touching. When I tell them 'no', and that I have no intention of dying, their disappointment is palpable. There is great anguish in Rawalpindi and Ahmedabad.
Existential heartache! It is sad, so very buggery sad.
It probably ruins the taste of their tiffin.
The dahi gosht becomes insipid.
The paratha is soggy.
Besvaad!
Many people on the subcontinent have no other function in life than to call me up at an ungodly hour to discuss matters of great import. It's probably part of their religion. Which has no other effect than to leave me with an appetite for something spicy-soupy before I've even had my coffee. I want hot chai with plenty adrak now, and something that has simmered gently over low heat for several hours, saagwalla nahari, plus fresh and flaky piyaz ka kulcha.
Ghee!
Why is there no desi bhojanalaya open nearby?
And why do you wish to torment me so?
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Of course had I not been looking for dental insurance a while back they wouldn't be calling.
[Dave from your local air duct service company hasn't called in ages.]
Their concern is touching. When I tell them 'no', and that I have no intention of dying, their disappointment is palpable. There is great anguish in Rawalpindi and Ahmedabad.
Existential heartache! It is sad, so very buggery sad.
It probably ruins the taste of their tiffin.
The dahi gosht becomes insipid.
The paratha is soggy.
Besvaad!
Many people on the subcontinent have no other function in life than to call me up at an ungodly hour to discuss matters of great import. It's probably part of their religion. Which has no other effect than to leave me with an appetite for something spicy-soupy before I've even had my coffee. I want hot chai with plenty adrak now, and something that has simmered gently over low heat for several hours, saagwalla nahari, plus fresh and flaky piyaz ka kulcha.
Ghee!
Why is there no desi bhojanalaya open nearby?
And why do you wish to torment me so?
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Wednesday, January 11, 2023
A JOY TO BE AROUND
It had started raining much heavier by the time I paid, so I stayed under the awning of a place closed on Wednesdays to smoke my pipe. Where I was soon joined by a runty fellow from the apartments upstairs who brought out his little stool to sit while huffing his Double Happiness ciggies. And I became aware in short order that he was missing a few screws.
In all of his half century plus of being on this planet, he had never seen a briar pipe.
Plus at random moments he felt the need to vocalize.
As the rain came down harder it disturbed him. He screamed an obscenity. A few minutes later again. And once more. Then indignantly he picked up his little stool and moved up the street, where the shopkeepers maybe didn't want him, because he was soon back. Ten minutes later he moved there again. While he was screaming at the wind I stirred up my ashes, cleaned my pipe, and left. Despite the rain, shopping was in order.
The grocery stores were not as crowded as usual, quite probably because of the downpour. On the street outside, people were hopscotching from awing to awning, and occasionally banging into each other's umbrellas. Much earlier, when I dropped by the pharmacy at Chinese Hospital, there had also been fewer people than normal. Rain discourages people, and around lunch time Cantonese people will make sure that nothing will get in the way of their meal. They've been looking forward to it since breakfast! Which is why the restaurant was bustling when I arrived.
If nothing else, when the weather is lousy one must enjoy one's food.
Tables filled with hapy people.
When I returned to that block for tea and a biscuit at the bakery, it was not such a happy place. A woman with skeevy reptilian eyes was eating wonton soup with her parents, and I caught her several times observing me in the mirror. She'd look, then with every indication of distaste reach for another dumpling with her chopsticks, a glimmer of something would cross her face before the poor wonton would disappear. At one point she surreptitiously snagged a dumpling out of her mother's bowl. The old lady looked serene and oblivious to the theft.
There something about the way some people wield their chopsticks that make one automatically assume that they're clenching tightly down below.
For fear of losing something precious.
A woman with reptilian eyes looking totally paranoid and suspicious cannot possibly enjoy her food as much as a normal person. It's just not a realistic likelihood.
The screeching man was audible outside. He'd gotten worse since lunchtime. Possibly his brain was melting. His sanity was already gone, drained like ectoplasmic slime down his torso and into the gutters, where eerily glowing it had joined the floating detritus.
This is educated speculation and imagining, by the way.
Even if I didn't have to pick something up at the pharmacy I would have gone out today. Evidence that all the regular habits are being maintained is, generally speaking, a morale booster. For oneself, possibly other people.
Despite being in a tiger infested swamp, one still shaves every day.
The rebels may have blown off my leg, but that's no excuse.
Oh dear, the roof caved in. It's time for tea.
When I left the bakery I could have waited for a bus at the nearby stop, me and my second pipe. But I'm not crazy. No need to risk being in the line of howl. I had noticed him staring at me several times while I enjoyed my biscuit, and seeing as he doesn't have a life I was sure he was still nearby. So I walked several blocks down to Sansome Street to catch the bus there. I had barely finished my pipe when it arrived.
I don't mind being "educational", but I'm picky about when and to whom.
It's been wavering between drizzle and downpour all day.
Perfect weather for a smoke.
Double happines.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
In all of his half century plus of being on this planet, he had never seen a briar pipe.
Plus at random moments he felt the need to vocalize.
As the rain came down harder it disturbed him. He screamed an obscenity. A few minutes later again. And once more. Then indignantly he picked up his little stool and moved up the street, where the shopkeepers maybe didn't want him, because he was soon back. Ten minutes later he moved there again. While he was screaming at the wind I stirred up my ashes, cleaned my pipe, and left. Despite the rain, shopping was in order.
The grocery stores were not as crowded as usual, quite probably because of the downpour. On the street outside, people were hopscotching from awing to awning, and occasionally banging into each other's umbrellas. Much earlier, when I dropped by the pharmacy at Chinese Hospital, there had also been fewer people than normal. Rain discourages people, and around lunch time Cantonese people will make sure that nothing will get in the way of their meal. They've been looking forward to it since breakfast! Which is why the restaurant was bustling when I arrived.
If nothing else, when the weather is lousy one must enjoy one's food.
Tables filled with hapy people.
When I returned to that block for tea and a biscuit at the bakery, it was not such a happy place. A woman with skeevy reptilian eyes was eating wonton soup with her parents, and I caught her several times observing me in the mirror. She'd look, then with every indication of distaste reach for another dumpling with her chopsticks, a glimmer of something would cross her face before the poor wonton would disappear. At one point she surreptitiously snagged a dumpling out of her mother's bowl. The old lady looked serene and oblivious to the theft.
There something about the way some people wield their chopsticks that make one automatically assume that they're clenching tightly down below.
For fear of losing something precious.
A woman with reptilian eyes looking totally paranoid and suspicious cannot possibly enjoy her food as much as a normal person. It's just not a realistic likelihood.
The screeching man was audible outside. He'd gotten worse since lunchtime. Possibly his brain was melting. His sanity was already gone, drained like ectoplasmic slime down his torso and into the gutters, where eerily glowing it had joined the floating detritus.
This is educated speculation and imagining, by the way.
Even if I didn't have to pick something up at the pharmacy I would have gone out today. Evidence that all the regular habits are being maintained is, generally speaking, a morale booster. For oneself, possibly other people.
Despite being in a tiger infested swamp, one still shaves every day.
The rebels may have blown off my leg, but that's no excuse.
Oh dear, the roof caved in. It's time for tea.
When I left the bakery I could have waited for a bus at the nearby stop, me and my second pipe. But I'm not crazy. No need to risk being in the line of howl. I had noticed him staring at me several times while I enjoyed my biscuit, and seeing as he doesn't have a life I was sure he was still nearby. So I walked several blocks down to Sansome Street to catch the bus there. I had barely finished my pipe when it arrived.
I don't mind being "educational", but I'm picky about when and to whom.
It's been wavering between drizzle and downpour all day.
Perfect weather for a smoke.
Double happines.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
FELLOW URBANITES
There were four of us observing them while waiting for the bus, and there were four of them. Four adults and a youngster. Who was still quite small. They would stick their furry heads out, observe keenly to see if the coast was clear, and if it was scoot over to where the food lay, or otherwise duck back into their hiding space when a car came up the street.
From my distance I could not see their tails.
Not enough light.
Despite their size they were bold.
They had to be.
When you're hungry, and there is so much delicious numiness within scooting range, you must be adventurous. And as long as as the humans at the bus stop don't make any threatening moves, you may eat.
While watching them I kind of thought about bubonic plague, incidents of which would stop the tourist industry dead in its tracks. So something good would come of it if they became too problematic. Given a choice between tourists and rodents, I'll pick the rodents.
As you can tell, I have become somewhat negative about tourists.
The two Dutch girls at the bar excepted. Nice bright people from Utrecht, one of whom is staying here to study, her friend had just completed several months doing that in Canada and was visiting her. As I always do I had listened to identify the language they were speaking, but once I identified it, had not butted in. I've been back in the States too long to have anything worthwhile to say to people from the old sod.
Fortunately it had not rained while I had smoked my pipe earlier at the usual spot. We've had very Dutch weather lately. In one of Douglas Adam's books he mentions a truck driver who without knowing it was a rain god, so wherever he went, the weather was lousy. Much like we've had for the past two weeks. I often like to suggest to people that they are like that.
Which is of course a ridiculous accusation.
I will not allow the obvious presence of rain god truckers in the city to interfere with my lunch plans today. Come hell or high water, fish and rice, with soup and milk tea. As usual. Tea and a biscuit two hours later after shopping. I have an umbrella, there are awnings and doorways, and I've got a coat. And I don't melt in the rain. Like the rats, I will take the risk.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
From my distance I could not see their tails.
Not enough light.
Despite their size they were bold.
They had to be.
When you're hungry, and there is so much delicious numiness within scooting range, you must be adventurous. And as long as as the humans at the bus stop don't make any threatening moves, you may eat.
While watching them I kind of thought about bubonic plague, incidents of which would stop the tourist industry dead in its tracks. So something good would come of it if they became too problematic. Given a choice between tourists and rodents, I'll pick the rodents.
As you can tell, I have become somewhat negative about tourists.
The two Dutch girls at the bar excepted. Nice bright people from Utrecht, one of whom is staying here to study, her friend had just completed several months doing that in Canada and was visiting her. As I always do I had listened to identify the language they were speaking, but once I identified it, had not butted in. I've been back in the States too long to have anything worthwhile to say to people from the old sod.
Fortunately it had not rained while I had smoked my pipe earlier at the usual spot. We've had very Dutch weather lately. In one of Douglas Adam's books he mentions a truck driver who without knowing it was a rain god, so wherever he went, the weather was lousy. Much like we've had for the past two weeks. I often like to suggest to people that they are like that.
Which is of course a ridiculous accusation.
I will not allow the obvious presence of rain god truckers in the city to interfere with my lunch plans today. Come hell or high water, fish and rice, with soup and milk tea. As usual. Tea and a biscuit two hours later after shopping. I have an umbrella, there are awnings and doorways, and I've got a coat. And I don't melt in the rain. Like the rats, I will take the risk.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Tuesday, January 10, 2023
A CALM AND QUIET PLACE
What this town needs, desperately needs, is a private club where mature and calm Dutch American gentlemen can sit in front of a window, with a Nabokov or Simenon book in their hands, a cup of hot Hong Kong Milk Tea on the table next to them, and a Peterson pipe filled with either an aged red Virginia compound OR a medium-full Balkan mixture.
Because on rainy days like this, who wants to go outside?
Certainly I did not want to do so.
It could work; there must be at least four or five other people like me here.
And surely there are at least a dozen borderline cases.
Who just need the right environment.
Ideally it would be somewhere near Chinatown, so that each of us could walk there after lunch. Which today was at a familiar Chachanteng, where I had the usual, before heading out into the winter air to light up. It's probably because you can't smoke indoors that so many newspapers are on the cusp of death. Years ago you could dawdle for a good hour with your pipe lit devouring the Chronicle or the Examiner -- or the 星島日報 ('sing dou yat pou'), 國際日報 ('gwok jai yat pou'), and the 金山時報 ('gam saan si pou') -- which at that time were still mostly filled by local reporters with news of interest to local people -- and perhaps having another cup of milk tea.
All five newspapers I mentioned are not worth reading anymore. Getting out of the apartment was needful. My apartment mate called in sick today -- horrible hacking sounds early in the morning -- and the little red panda who joined the household on her birthday last month had big gulps of my coffee before I even noticed. She's turned into quite the addict of the "brown elixir". While I was in the bathroom she sat outside chanting 'ablute, ablute, ablute' because she was so hepped. She thinks that it's the sound that tropical Antarcticans make. The teddy bear has spoken to me firmly about allowing Irmengard near caffeine. When she's had too much the others look at her funny, and sometimes make her lie down with a wet cloth on her forehead. Any coffee is too much.
Because I'm a Dutchman -- one of possibly five such in the city -- my reaction to the brown elixir is not such. Too much simply makes me want to read unavailable publications in a nice quiet enviroment while it rains outside.
It was a good lunch, and a good smoke afterwards.
Outside in the cold and damp.
Also windy.
NOTE: the club should also have heating, and some coverlets or throw rugs for the lower extremities. The windows are less important. I'll settle for a dismal view of an industrial wasteland, or an alleyway with green, blue, and dark grey trash receptacles.
No alcoholic beverages or functioning teevee sets.
No one needs that kind of nonsense.
And no cigar smokers!
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Because on rainy days like this, who wants to go outside?
Certainly I did not want to do so.
It could work; there must be at least four or five other people like me here.
And surely there are at least a dozen borderline cases.
Who just need the right environment.
Ideally it would be somewhere near Chinatown, so that each of us could walk there after lunch. Which today was at a familiar Chachanteng, where I had the usual, before heading out into the winter air to light up. It's probably because you can't smoke indoors that so many newspapers are on the cusp of death. Years ago you could dawdle for a good hour with your pipe lit devouring the Chronicle or the Examiner -- or the 星島日報 ('sing dou yat pou'), 國際日報 ('gwok jai yat pou'), and the 金山時報 ('gam saan si pou') -- which at that time were still mostly filled by local reporters with news of interest to local people -- and perhaps having another cup of milk tea.
All five newspapers I mentioned are not worth reading anymore. Getting out of the apartment was needful. My apartment mate called in sick today -- horrible hacking sounds early in the morning -- and the little red panda who joined the household on her birthday last month had big gulps of my coffee before I even noticed. She's turned into quite the addict of the "brown elixir". While I was in the bathroom she sat outside chanting 'ablute, ablute, ablute' because she was so hepped. She thinks that it's the sound that tropical Antarcticans make. The teddy bear has spoken to me firmly about allowing Irmengard near caffeine. When she's had too much the others look at her funny, and sometimes make her lie down with a wet cloth on her forehead. Any coffee is too much.
Because I'm a Dutchman -- one of possibly five such in the city -- my reaction to the brown elixir is not such. Too much simply makes me want to read unavailable publications in a nice quiet enviroment while it rains outside.
It was a good lunch, and a good smoke afterwards.
Outside in the cold and damp.
Also windy.
NOTE: the club should also have heating, and some coverlets or throw rugs for the lower extremities. The windows are less important. I'll settle for a dismal view of an industrial wasteland, or an alleyway with green, blue, and dark grey trash receptacles.
No alcoholic beverages or functioning teevee sets.
No one needs that kind of nonsense.
And no cigar smokers!
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
EXEMPLARY URBAN RESIDENTS
If you live in San Francisco, it is hard to get a D.U.I. even if you're drunk out of your mind all the time, as many techno-yuppies and young urban professionals or artistic types seem to be. Largely because if you own a car there is nowhere to park it, either before, during, or after whatever you are doing, but also because there is almost no temptation to take the vehicle out for a spin once you have found a space near your dwelling.
It is, on the other hand, common for people to stumble and weave on their way home.
Then fall asleep near or on piles of festering garbage.
Intoxication, ambulation, and collapse.
Which is when the raccoons will come and rifle their pockets. If they had credit cards, they're gone now. The raccoons. Funding for ciggies and cappucinos.
Other than that, raccoons are upstanding citizens.
They take care of garbage, don't shoot up in alleyways, don't rob stores, and are hardly ever involved in drive-bys or other blatant disturbance of the peace. Even near schools.
Unlike many Christians, they don't have a bigoted bone in their bodies.
They don't hoard guns or commit tax fraud.
I like raccoons.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
It is, on the other hand, common for people to stumble and weave on their way home.
Then fall asleep near or on piles of festering garbage.
Intoxication, ambulation, and collapse.
Which is when the raccoons will come and rifle their pockets. If they had credit cards, they're gone now. The raccoons. Funding for ciggies and cappucinos.
Other than that, raccoons are upstanding citizens.
AN HONEST FACE
They take care of garbage, don't shoot up in alleyways, don't rob stores, and are hardly ever involved in drive-bys or other blatant disturbance of the peace. Even near schools.
Unlike many Christians, they don't have a bigoted bone in their bodies.
They don't hoard guns or commit tax fraud.
I like raccoons.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Monday, January 09, 2023
DARK SHAPES UNDER THE AWNINGS
Both of the pipes I enjoyed immensely for several months after recovering, more or less, from a stay in the hospital three years ago, were in storage for a long time. So it was fun revisiting them while spending much of last week dodging the rain in the afternoons. Which happened far too often. Having spent my childhood in the Netherlands, where we moved during my infancy, rainy weather is something with which I am familiar. Unlike many other native Californians, who may have experienced it for the first time recently.
"Oh no, it's the end times, water is falling from the sky, and what's that weird smell of burning leaves eminating from that dour looking person with a piece of wood near his face?"
Several people looked at me with keen interest while I was smoking recently. Possibly because what was sticking out of my mouth was something from decades ago.
My guess would be that it was made just after the war.
Either that or they could see the caffeine bringing light and warmth to my zombie-like tissues. Colour creeping up in glowing waves from my toes till at last the head lit up.
It did not rain today, for your information.
Life has returned to the streets. Sometimes objects look sexy. There are some pipe shapes like that. Mostly it's ceramics, a characteristic that collectors of antiques, archeologists, art historians, and scholarly aficionados are well familiar with.
The straight Rhodesian, especially in its pudgy variant, is one of those shapes.
Here's an examplar done for an American company years ago. This was made by Comoy for Jost's in St. Louis. It was sold to me by Mary Pulvers, who had a shop on Battery Street till 2005. I was working for the law firm of regrettable memory at the time. It had never been smoked, so naturally I snapped it up.
Even during inclement weather one must head outdoors to smoke.
I have, consequently, become an expert on shelter.
Closed businesses with deep awnings.
Private public spaces.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
"Oh no, it's the end times, water is falling from the sky, and what's that weird smell of burning leaves eminating from that dour looking person with a piece of wood near his face?"
Several people looked at me with keen interest while I was smoking recently. Possibly because what was sticking out of my mouth was something from decades ago.
My guess would be that it was made just after the war.
Either that or they could see the caffeine bringing light and warmth to my zombie-like tissues. Colour creeping up in glowing waves from my toes till at last the head lit up.
It did not rain today, for your information.
Life has returned to the streets. Sometimes objects look sexy. There are some pipe shapes like that. Mostly it's ceramics, a characteristic that collectors of antiques, archeologists, art historians, and scholarly aficionados are well familiar with.
The straight Rhodesian, especially in its pudgy variant, is one of those shapes.
Here's an examplar done for an American company years ago. This was made by Comoy for Jost's in St. Louis. It was sold to me by Mary Pulvers, who had a shop on Battery Street till 2005. I was working for the law firm of regrettable memory at the time. It had never been smoked, so naturally I snapped it up.
Even during inclement weather one must head outdoors to smoke.
I have, consequently, become an expert on shelter.
Closed businesses with deep awnings.
Private public spaces.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Search This Blog
GRITS AND TOFU
Like most Americans, I have a list of people who should be peacefully retired from public service and thereafter kept away from their desks,...
