THE REFLECTING POOL BOY

When even the Irish brand you as "deranged", not just gibbering (which is 'eloquence' in their eyes), you have lost your partisan political rally. And the Irish are so over Donald Trump it defies belief. Which is remarkable, given their extreme tolerance for 'eloquence'. The Dutch, a more sober lot, recognized him as stark raving batshit beyond all credulity good heavens the man is nuttier than a Texas fruitcake ages ago.

But for the Irish, the breaking point came this past week. He's no longer everybody's least favourite uncle hogging the whiskey bottle, he's the syphilitic maiden aunt who escaped the booby hatch whom no one has the heart to send back. He's become the idiot boy who should be chained up lest he run away and join the fairies, or leastways the inbred quarter wit who if you send him next door to borrow a cup of sugar won't be able to find his way home.

But Texas loves him. He's their kind of guy.
He's just so smart, oh my.


They've hated the rest of us since Operation Jade Helm, when we sent over twelve hundred literate people to Texas to teach them how to read. It was a disaster. Texas collectively lost its marbles, why the nerve of those new order internationalists with their black helicopters and mind control! It's communism! United Nations imposing asteroids! Apocalypse!
That was over ten years ago, and we're still paying for it.

The country would be better off without Texas.

Of course we would also be better off without Alabama, Florida, Louisiana, and Mississippi. But that goes without saying. The gene pool is too thin down there, despite the clumps and drifting scum. Huge areas of functional illiteracy and mental weakness, alleviated by parasitic brain worms and congenital mental decomposition. You could blame the oil rigs, groundwater pollution, and plantations, but that doesn't really explain it. It's probably all those genetic experiments they ran during the fifties in the fundamentalist churches.


Not so much gene splicing as gene flattening with a hammer.

Bless their hearts.


There were nearly two dozen paranoid conspiracy theories in that region about Operation Jade Helm. Several with racial overtones. Since then the amount of brain-rotted truthiness about elections, foreigners, other people's religions, and climate change has just bubbled up and over. It explains why they elected Uncle Navy Blue Diaper with the orange comb-over and his degenerated henchmen.

It's also the heat. And chemicals in the sweet ice tea.

We should have sent in the UN police.



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