MADE TO ORDER

Being, as you know, an unpleasant and evil man, I fervently with that someone would take a hand in feeding a certain orange-faced blowtoad things that would speed up his demise due arterial clogging and aortic rupture. And I have suggestions in for that. Eggs, butter, cream, bacon, cheese, and pasta, in a wonderful hot greasy swamp. Like the hero in 'Supersize Me', he wouldn't last a month. His adulatory fans, in emulating him, wouldn't either. Problem is, neither would I.

Yeah sure I'd eat that. Mmmm. Add chives and Jalapeños.
Plus pinches of paprika and nutmeg.


If there were a breakfast place nearby that served that, I'd be on my way now.


You can probably think of several ways to make it more you. The perfect start of the day, a hot dish that encapsulates and epitomizes the unique dietary disaster that expresses your innermost being. Maybe dollops of crème fraîche and hefty squeezes of Sriracha. Or some shellfish to barely cook in the hot gooey mess, added halfway through. "Les Huîtres Crise Cardiaque à la Sauce au Fromage." Maybe along with a full English breakfast.
There is no age at which this would be healthy.

Therefore someone needs to put it on the menu. Holiday resorts, fancy hotels, or even cruise ships. Especially elite golf clubs. Better than the basket of hot thick-cut bacon with double garlic aioli for dipping.

Of course I myself would wash it down with buckets of strong coffee or tea (anti-oxidant rich beverages) rather than the diet soda the intended victim habitually swills. And it properly should be an occasional indulgence rather than a four or five times a day snack for a repulsive old dgenerate.

I would also like to see mutton nihari on the menu at breakfast places. With hot toast OR kulcha. Far better for you than a full English breakfast or Le Bacon-Cheese Americaine.
Just thinking outside the extra-large to-go container here.


A chain of such restaurants across the country.
Just think "Cholesterol "R" Us.
Mmmmmm.



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