PASTY AND FREEZING

Several years ago I strongly suggested to the pipe club that on Bay To Breakers (a yearly running event across the breadth of the city) they should contribute to the zaniness (nudity, funny costumes, beer) by participating as a team. The Naked Puffs. Running. Naked. With pipes. Surprisingly, there was pushback. One member opined that, as I was the person who suggested it, I should lead and they would follow.

I demured, explaining that I was always scheduled to work on Sundays, kindly think of my as the vicar of this parish, but I would be there in spirit encouraging them. Trot trot.
If I am not here at my usual post, it would quite upset the applecart.
And cause a revolution, what is the world coming to?
It's quite unthinkable, tell you what.

Besides, I look ugly running naked in the fog, and would scare the little children. You lot, on the other hand ...
I have been told that I am a veritable Adonis, and must run. It won't be the same without me.

Bay To Breakers was today. So was the meeting of the pipe club. The full quorum did not show up, so some of them must have been running. Jolly good, and bravo. Kudos.
Show the world what it's like to be a naked pipesmoker!
The children deserve to know!

I attended the meeting. I did not run. But I chided them for their laziness.
Did I already mention the applecart? I have an excuse. They don't.

You are all letting the side down. We expect better.


Also, a chap from Kansas City was visiting, new pipe smoker. Talked him through the history of pipes since Adam, answered several questions about briar, burl growth, famous brands, and stuff like that. So I don't really know what the lads all discussed, though Bernard, as an Afrikaner, authoritatively talked smack about the President's nonsense about South Africa and those claims of a genocide. This was before Kansas City came in, and while I was stuffing my face with excellent pâté and charcootered items.

Now that I think about it, none of us are young enough to get up and get naked at five o'clock in the morning. Cold winds, darkness, fog, and just generally nasty at that hour.
They should reschedule the race entirely so us old codgers can join.
Everyone's looking forward to that. Trust me.



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