NOTHING LIKE EXCESS

One thing that fascinates me is the concept that patriotic citizens should think of buying their kiddiewinkies two dolls instead of thirty for Christmas this year. A mandated two simple dolls per munchkin, no more. And no less. What's clear is that with all the letting-go and tariffs, the holidays will be different. As will the food. No more imported plum puddings, English toffees, and marzipan, but corn-syrup drenched starch cake. No booze, unless you like Jim Beam. No coffee after dinner. And probably no dinner.

Coming from severe Calvinist stock ancestrally, I thrill to the idea that everyone should suffer. Nothing says 'holidays' as well as misery, penance, and abject punishing of the flesh. So those two dolls (no more, no less), should come with fully functional flails and enough batteries to keep them disciplinarily functional till after tax day. You sinners.

Seeing as I have no children, none of this applies to me.

But y'all with the squawling brood should suffer.

Maybe I'll buy thirty dolls, just because.

Now, I should point out that even though most briar pipes and much pipe tobacco comes from overseas, and will necessarily be tariffed out the wazoo, I have plenty of smoking equipment, and enough tobacco in my stockpile, that I can survive the next ice age.
So neener neener neener.

Pipe smoking, as everyone should know, is acknowledged as a Dutch cultural heritage. So of course I have taken precautions. The rest of you will freeze while I remain happily puffing.
I'll probably have some coffee with all the tariff money I'll save.

Mmmm, coffee! So deliciously luxurious!
Imported. And tariffed.



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