THE HEARD AND MCDONALD ISLANDS

Our fearless leader Trump has in his righteous anger imposed a tariff on two islands in Antarctica inhabited by penguins. Very productive penguins. Whose cheap labour risks inundating the United States with something, they're taking advantage of us.
Which will drive American manufacturing over the cliff.

But no more! We have seized an advantage!
A tariff to make us all rich!

The United States imports more goods from the Heard and McDonald Islands than they buy from us. That is intolerable and untenable. Who the heck do those penguins think they are?


All I can think of is guano and herring. Both of which are strategically important, because we can definitely sell the herring to the Arabs good lord they don't have any, and the American Deep South needs more guano lord knows and bless their hearts.
The great state of Texas is founded upon it.
Precious, precious guano.

Why, if you really think about it, our society, our democracy, and the wealth of nations is built entirely upon guano. The White House itself is presently filled to the brim with guano.

You Anglo Americans are welcome to all the guano you can swallow.
We Knickerbockers will take the herring.
We're modest.



Next up: Competing with the Underpants Gnomes.



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