THE ALL-AMERICAN DIET

That stuff that nobody can afford anymore just started getting a lot more expensive. Soon only the rich will buy it. Because the tariffs will affect the price of everything except grits. And insta-grits. Which used to be only a Southern thing, before it became the chosen sustenance of college students and starving artists everywhere, and those Latin-speaking drug-addicted Islamic criminals crossed the border and started setting fire to cybertrucks for grits.
Because grits are Jesus. Even insta-grits. Insta-Jesus.


It’s such an old-fashioned term but a beautiful term: groceries. It sort of says a bag with different things in it, it’s a sort of simple word, but it sort of means, like, everything you eat. The stomach is speaking, it always does. Sort of.
------Donald Trump


The man is a profound genius. Big brain. Bigly.

Have some eggs with your grits.

This is what George Washington ate at Valley Forge, before he slept somewhere. Wrapped in an American Flag. Can't hardly get more All-American than that. Flags, you should know, don't really protect you from the weather. It's the heat inside that counts.

The hurricane season looks to be a lot worse this year.

What you really need with that is some chilies.

Chopped chilies. Vegetable fibres!



Tariffs, boys, that'll learn 'em! Grits, eggs, hog jowls, and chilies are grown on our farms! Those Euries can't get that! Darn sight better than all that fancy cheese! Covfefe!



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