TIME TO SHOWER

Now that the folks at one of my regular chachanteng are home from their vacation, guess where I'm heading for lunch. I am a man of routines. Such things keep life stable, and in an unpredictable universe that's important. Who would ever have thunk that people wearing pantyliners on the right side of their heads (or sometimes both right and left) would, in the struggle for normalcy and common sense (pantyliners) be screaming bloody murder across the barricades at protestors opposed to Israel, the newsmedia, ableism, and gluten?

Gluten, for crapsakes! The building block of a healthy lifestyle!

And the pantyliners on the ears indicate an unwillingness to to listen. Which is why they have their knickers lustingly bunched about a fake hillbilly. Whose wife is "ethnic", (which is good!) and whose major opponent is "ethnic" (well, dammit!). Taping a pantyliner to the side of your head, it turns out, means that you are good and right and opposed to climate change (whose idea was that anyway?) and DEI and vaccines! You stand for common sense, and a return to the way things used to be.


While the stark raving majority on either side waves pitchforks and underwears at each other, some of us are darn glad that we are safely away from the tumult. We're just happy to be in the greatest wildfire zone in the country where life is peaceful and normal.

In celebration of fire, gluten, meat, and things such as vaccination, tobacco, disableism, and everything going to hell in a handbasket, I shall have a club sandwich, fries, and a cup of HK milk tea in a sane environment where I shall probably be the only Caucasian present as well as native speaker of both Dutch and English. Followed by a pipefull of tobacco, purchasing stuff with palm oil and third world crops unfairly traded, and bagged conveniently in petrochemical byproducts. Weekly shopping.

If any tourists, suburbanites, or people I do not particularly wish to converse with speak to me, the response will probably be sentences in a foreign language calmly and politely enunciated, telling them precisely what I think about them gibbering.


Might even search for bottles of durian essence. Which is meant for food purposes, if you like durian, but would probably be excellent as an all-natural environmentally safe biodegradable alternative to pepper-spray. Imagine trying to wash that out of your hair.

Folks will love you on public transit.



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