SOME HYPERBOLE MAY BE PRESENT

Apparently, it's people like me who are responsible for climate change and the freak weather we've been having. During the last billing cycle we switched on the air-conditioning on four separate days -- two of which were my working days -- and in direct consequence of that, the energy bill was enormous, there are wildfires out of control in parts of California, there have been high tides, parts of Florida and Texas are irredeemably flooded, there are storms in the Yucatan, the convent will kick out the orphans. Because I felt, without any cause, that it was too hot, the French left wing sabotaged the trains leading into the city, there are refugees, vagrants, drug addiction and typhoons, plus dryrot in the utility closet of all things fercrapsakes, oh the heartache and the humanity!

If it's too hot, just open the damn' doors!

Dude, that's where the heat is from.
The great boiling outside world.


And the chap sputtering all this after strong coffee on an empty head when I walked in this morning was not even one of the sour old Republican dingbats.

In a past life, he ran a convent. Which kept several mastiffs. In case of escapees. Because when you become a bride of Christ there's no such thing as divorce.
All well-run convents have slavering dogs.

THIS IS WHAT AIRCON DOES TO THE PLANET!

Stuff like that, I am reliably assured, causes things like clogged sewers, Nigel Farage, cows not milking, plus the entire country of Scotland. Plus rain in Paris on their special day!


To a certain extent my job is handholding. Babysitting the elderly demented and the young sick in the head. Which is why I need a cattle prod. And regular supplies of durian, to boo them into behaving properly. They can no longer be bribed with candy.

Many of them would also benefit from gag rags.



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