BANK, CHEUNGFAN, ACCOUNTS

Having done some tasks yesterday, there are still a few things on my list remaining. Which will be punctuated by not doing anything useful. One of which is going over to a place in C'town for some cheungfan. Which will be the perfect breakfast. And it's a good place to people watch, as there are few to zero tourists there. Despite, or probably because, I live in a tourist mecca I am quite unfond of tourists. Many of whom are always clearly uncomfortable with things not being as they are back in wherever, no we don't have vegemite, sweet corn and canned meat are not a thing here, and frightfully sorry but we don't have frikandel, bamischijf, and the nasi goreng which you think all ethnic restaurants must have.


Nor, sadly, surströmming. It's on the same list as English black pudding and "real" Italian food. We don't have "real" Italians either. Those are all Swedes speaking funny.
Perhaps you should have stayed in the Midwest or Europe?

Please don't tell us how divine the surströmming pizza was in Rome.
Or the gehakteleberstrudel mit senf you had in Vienna.
We've already heard about the beer.

By the way, there is a lizard in the bidet. It has been placed there for your convenience. And the elevator in your hotel plays 'Torremolinos Torremolinos' softly because we know you're fond of it. There is no Watney's Red Barrel. We tried. Couldn't find it. Sorry.

As I said, cheungfan. Not, strictly speaking, touristenfähig.

Great with a drizzle soy sauce and some hotsauce.

Probably not as good as the "real" hamburgers they have in Germany, or the surströmming pizza you had in Rome or Cleveland or when you were exploring the fjords of Malmö. And our donuts are not at all like the donuts you found in Donetsk when you were on a guided tour of the ruins and the museums there, where they were invented. The Thai food? Ah, yes, you had REAL Thai food in Chiang Mai. And the bánh mì (oo, genuine dăm bông!) and bánh cuốn, bún chả, and phở which you ate on the banks of the perfumed river when you visited Huế to see the horrors that the Yanks had inflicted on the poor peace-loving people there was all so much better! Oh yes. Much better.

I'm sorry. There is nothing good to eat in San Francisco.
And we have no native handicrafts to buy.
You shouldn't have come.


Cleveland. Cleveland is nice. You could have gone to Cleveland.
Or Cincinnati. They have real pizza there.
Plus surströmming.


Europeans and Midwesteners love surströmming.
We know this now. And we are very sorry.
Everything edible is surströmming.



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