SEARCHING FOR YOUR IDEAL MATE

A while ago I closed down my account on a dating site, after no nibbles and a marked lack of interest by the women there, which I responded to in kind. Women on dating sites seem to be entirely interested in physically fit specimens who watch their diet, don't smoke, are financially more than comfortable, and willing to drop it all for a trip rafting down the Amazon.

How about a man with a leg that sometimes hurts, likes roast duck, smokes a pipe, and considers the Amazon overrated?
For whom 'adventure' is a new snackipoo?
Crunchy, crusty, flaky?

No?

I guess threatening to bulldoze the entire blooming Brazilian rain forest is right out then.


FORNICATION AND ASPHYXIATION

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xQyQnXrLb0.]


Cup of milk-tea and a snarky attitude?


Apparently not. An internet quiz produced this startling result: "Like a molten lava cake, you just ooze sex appeal". Which I am sure applies only and entirely to my evil twin, rather than to me.

The oozing part may be a sebaceous cyst.


As far as I know, there is not a single venue in the Amazonian Jungle that vends milk-tea of any kind, and all the nice women from San Francisco tromping around would probably object fiercely to any one smoking. It's foul! How many natives did you have to enslave for that bowl of Samuel Gawith St. James Flake, you horrid unspiritual person?!?

This blogger is perfectly happy spending his time with briar pipes and good tobacco, occasionally a snackipoo and some milk-tea, and exploring the Mato Grosso only in books and on you-tube.


Bugger the Amazon.




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