SMELL MY FINGERS

Yesterday I exchanged pleasantries with nine women and two men while doing errands. Which is NOT the proportion of either gender in the city, NOR does it reflect planning on my part. But I did smoke two pipefulls of something dark and stinky while I was out and about.
That WAS according to the plan.

Hours later, and after two or three handwashings, my fingers still smelled faintly of Latakia and resinous Turk. Yes, I had eaten various dimsum items, drank coffee, handled vegetables, enjoyed milk-tea and a pastry, went home and ate a dinner-time snack, and had some more coffee.
My nimble digits still smelled profoundly sexual.
The enticing aroma of Latakia adhering.
Suggestive, and erotic.

Okay, I'll admit it. I am a pervert. Anyone who associates the fragrance of Oriental leaf with naughty business is depraved. Good thing the women I encountered had NO idea what was going on in my nose. They would've been shocked, possibly too much to say 'howdy'.
And despite my inner rancifididity, I like saying 'howdy'.
I have very little else in the way of social life.


SLIGHT DETOUR

Years ago I used to make hotsauce as a side venture to my daytime job. This often involved several pounds of Habaneros. I never used gloves, because despite the burning one needs to feel what one is doing with the knife: cut off the stem, slice the pepper open, examine for rot or mold, chuck it in the blender, pick of the next fresh crisp washed pepper .....

Bathroom break: wash hands thoroughly, head down the hall. Go back to kitchen, turn around abruptly in mid-stride, and spend the next forty plus minutes curled up under a cold shower.

Then resume labour in kitchen.

La la la .....


Take care not to touch anyone, nor stroke any silken cheeks or chins, for at least a day following chilies. Don't pet dogs or cats.

My hands are weapons of mass destruction. These are the terrifying claws of nightmare, the world will never be the same. Life as you know it will end, this is the rising of the beast .....



The lingering oils of chilipeppers are not a problem if one is devouring an entire bag of potato chips. It adds to the experience, even completes it. On the other hand, a smell of Latakia tobacco is discordant under those circumstances. One does NOT expect potato chips to smell like naughty business with a hot smoking mama.

On a third hand, it is ALWAYS better to have Latakia digits when dealing with women. You do not need to know why.
Who knows, they might actually like it.

Women are kind of sensitive.




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