YOU POO GOOD!

There are too many yoghurt commercials on teevee. This is not because people love yoghurt, but because they enjoy pizza, crunchy bits, fried stuff, and salt. The poor dears are either plugged up, or full of dietary guilt. Eventually it must come out.

I actually like yoghurt; it counteracts the effects of Marin.

How on earth did Marin become the epicentre of entitlement, vanity, self-indulgence, alternative philosophies, and consumerism in Northern California? Is it any surprise that the Emerald Triangle starts there?

Pot, plus potheads, and potty spiritualists.

They really need some yoghurt.


A CLEANSING!

Folks, convert your hot tubs to vessels in which to make yoghurt. What use could be better than that? Especially during a drought. And for crap sakes cut back on pot; growing it is incredibly wasteful, uses tonnes of water, and smoking it turns whatever tiny minds you might have -- not there's any convincing evidence that you folks actually own such things -- into even worse pudding than they already are.
Basically, runny grape jelly.

I've seen you think, and I am not impressed.


By the way, you are NOT allergic to gluten. Or meat.


You are just too obsessed with yourselves. That, too, can be cured by switching from pot to yoghurt. And I fervently urge you to make the switch. No, you will not have uncontrollable seizures, or debilitating migraines.
Your back will not go out. You won't be nauseous.
Life and civilisation itself will not end.

Those are misapprehensions.

Instead, you'll wake up with a new sense of reality, and look around all bright-eyed and filled with wonder at the world around you. The fact that you are no longer the centre of the universe will be a profound release.
You will enjoy new freedom and awareness.

And you will finally poo.

You are full of it.

Yoghurt!




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