Thursday, May 28, 2015

IMPORTANT DETAILS: BEDS, OTTERS, SOCKS, AND SEA CUCUMBERS

Sometimes I enjoy taking a good look at the search criteria that draw readers to my blog. Like almost all scribblers, I have an overblown ego and a neurotic urge to find out more about the people who pay attention to me, and consequently an almost maniacal need to cater obsequiously to their needs.


Recent criteria may take more effort than I want to expend, however. Given that I am also a lazy ass.


Please consider:

Crazy in Kelantan.
Happy otters.
How are Cantonese women in bed?
How to cook dry sea cucumber.
Marin county slut exposed.

There. Right in the centre, number three, is the question that makes the whole endeavor curious. Obsessive and peculiar.
It's the scientific mind.

"How are Cantonese women in bed?"

Under normal circumstances, probably asleep. That's how.

If, like my apartment mate in the other room, it is a certain time, they are grumpy and suffering from, and I quote: "bad-ass cramps". Please note the position of the hyphen. Correct placement is very important.
She's an exemplary Cantonese woman.

"How are Cantonese women in bed?"

Well, when they are tired, and they consider sleep a desirable thing, they will naturally end up in bed. That is how. They are very similar to most people in that regard. Perhaps even more so.
Comfortably curled up and dozing.
As I've heard.


Here's an informative video from youtube that answers NONE of your queries.

CH'ES PASSENDE SA BRIGATA TATTARESA


[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaziOWtRaV4.]

Huzza for the gioventude de Saldigna!
Such bra' laddies, din ye think?
Strapping!

"But how are Cantonese women in bed?!?"

How on earth would I know? And, if I did, why would I detail it? I'm a single man, and I would rather not think of such things. It disturbs my equanimity to consider the matter. Perhaps, if you are really curious, you should ask that question of the Cantonese women themselves?
Make sure to query a representative sampling of them.

How are you in bed? Are you comfortable?
Would you like another blanky?
A fluffy pillow?

Field research. It's an invaluable source of scientific data. Do the leg work yourself, and report back to the mothership. Where they are curious about Cantonese women.
In bed.


FYI

If you are interested in the first criterium, here: 'crazy in Kelantan'.
For happy otters: the internet is filled with happy otters!
The fourth item: 'how to cook sea cucumbers'.

And for the last?

I'm afraid that I know nothing at all about Marin County sluts.
Maybe you have me confused with someone else.
My exposure to Marin is limited.
No slut awareness.
Sorry.


AFTER WORD

As always, I am keenly interested in feedback; my readers fascinate me, and their curiosity fills me with wonder. Please feel free to let me know what you are thinking right now, or ask any number of questions, even ones that might be too personal for a face-to-face encounter.

For instance, how I am in bed.

So, how am I in bed?

Lumpy.
And probably reading.
I do not fart under the covers.

Unlike the Cantonese woman in the other room, I never wear socks to bed. My feet benefit from a bit of cool air at night, it makes me a more comfortable person.

There are stuffed animals everywhere.

I never sleep nude.



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4 comments:

e-kvetcher said...

You're welcome

The back of the hill said...

"Belfies"

Not a concept I had encountered before.

The search results were nightmarish.

It is a very bad idea.

e-kvetcher said...

"Hwæt! Are Cantonese women in bed?"

It could be the opening line of a saga.

Anonymous said...

close...except for the lesbian part.

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/jewish-and/seamlessly-chinese-and-jewish/

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