Monday, March 24, 2014

THE RAVENOUS BEAST

One should NOT eat nearly an entire package of digestive biscuits. Milk chocolate covered. Pensively. Before I realized it, the package was empty.
And I was full.

They were made by United Biscuits (UK) Ltd.

45% wheat & wholemeal.


It has been asserted that this distinctive cookie is nourishing food for people of weak digestion. And as they are made in regions beyond the control of American agro-imperialist control, there will be no corn syrup utilized in their manufacture. They have a tendency to disintegrate when wet.

There are seventeen of them in the average package.

Of which thirteen were left when I came home.

They disappeared within an hour.

I should have had tea.


I shall blame United Biscuits (UK) for any mistakes or ill-considered dining choices made recently. As well as my pensively thoughtless omission of tea while consuming over a dozen baked wheaten discs covered with milk-chocolate (rumoured to be perfect food for people of weak digestion).
Next time, put the kettle on. And consider the consequences.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I was led astray by perfection.
Damn' fine biscuits.



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