STOLI IN THE SUPPLY CABINET

There is no evidence.
This according to the Computer Department when I asked him about the vice-president’s behavior yesterday after several frappucinos. You weren't aware that Jack Daniels made frappucinos, neither was anyone else.
But the vice-president knew.
I do not know what he did once we left.
Jack Daniels – it’s what makes Starbucks and Hayward bearable.

At times over the past week both the Marketing Department and the IT Department were looking twixt worried and possessed.
As well as ‘extra creamy’.


One phrase that sticks in my mind is "don't drink the bong water". Apparently our creative types worry about the stuff that comes out of the faucets in the East Bay. There's stuff in it, judging by the bong water. Which probably explains their frappucino habits. After several of those bad boys you need something to bring you back down (Jack Daniels), and at all times maintain your liquid levels, because, baby, it's warm in Hayward. Please hydrate.
We're from San Francisco. We didn't know.
You cannot drink the bong water here.


As Dave Chappelle might say:
"It's Hayward, bitches, Hayward!"


I am the strong silent type, and I do not complain about the water. Perfectly messed-up hair is a fine line. Connectivity remains an issue.
The suggestion for today's catered lunch was Egg McMuffins for everyone. But they only make those till ten-thirty, consequently I don't know what we're having.
Not a clue. Maybe it's extra creamy.
It's Hayward, bitches, Hayward.
Might there be any Jack left?

You pay the toll.

Almost everything above is taken from or inspired by utterances originating in the Marketing and IT departments. They are city boys, and the move from San Francisco has affected them sorely.
I am in Finance, so I am sun-deprived, calm, and collected.
No need to augment my frappies, I drink tea.

I still do NOT know what's for lunch.
Marsh bird fricassee, tatar sauce.
The possibilities are endless.
It is, after all, Hayward.
The heart of the Bay.


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