Tuesday, July 19, 2011


There are two recent comments underneath a piece I guestposted elsewhere a few months ago that, in many ways, illustrate if not illuminate the bi-racial boy-girl situation.

[That essay is on Crystal Tao's blog: LoveLoveChina. Please go read the other posts there.]

There is actually a third comment, on a Facebook page, which is also extremely enlightening – but I shall not quote it, because I would have to translate it AND the person who wrote it may not appreciate the breach of presumptive ‘privacy’.
I will however ask him to guest-post here, because what Waiman Ko said about his relationship with a white girl and how that "irked" his mother is particularly interesting and relevant, as is also the glib and stereotypic attitude of the girl’s family (“ah, at least we'll be getting free eggrolls”).
He’s now in a relationship with a Chinese girl.
And yes, there are still 'parental' issues.


And all of us, without doubt, are something.
Decide for yourself whether you are small, medium, or large, and order the tee-shirt today.

Sorry, that was a moment.

" As a cantonese guy I will tell you this, White people are much worse. Whiteguys can date as many Asian girls they like and their family will accept it, but when it comes to their daughters, their family, friends and everyone they knows will laugh at them and not approve it, asking questions like why would you date some geeky, week chinese guy. You can see it in the media and everything else, how the whiteman put up all sorts of barriers to keep their daughters away from non-white guys. White people only like our chinese girls, if you are chinese/asian guy and you live in a white society, BAD LUCK!

You are all a bunch of egoistic ****. This site is called "We love China", but it's only about chinese girls? Such bullshit! This is just one of the many proves how much better chinese girls has it in a white society compared to the chinese guys. I don't see no page called "We love China, everything about chinese guys". Until you white people can treat chinese girls and guys equally, dont talk about us and our culture!

Quite the squawk, that. Pokgai is an angry man.

I doubt that most white parents actually have as significant a say as all that in their daughters affairs. Certainly the familial bonds between the generations are weaker in modern urban Caucasian society than among Asians.

As far as loving Chinese guys is concerned, obviously I am not the one to speak - although I do know a surprising number of people who even years after his unfortunate demise are deeply, passionately, heart-wrenchingly in love with Leslie Cheung (張國榮).

Actually, I've always felt that Chow Yunfat (周潤發) was, in many of his movies as well as in his personal style extremely worth imitating.
Quite the role model. A man's man. Macho to da max.
As well as darn foxy looking.

[Image from Wikipedia.]

Please note that in this photo, mr. Chow has a beard somewhat similar to mine.
This is a fairly recent development that I can only applaud.
A nicely delimited beard is a good thing. I've had mine longer than he has had his.

Other than a slight facial similarity, there is unfortunately little else that we have in common. Chow Yunfat frequently played opposite Cherie Chung, I didn't. That's something I regret. It's the only reason why I would ever want to be a movie star.

" It's true that Asian guys have it tougher in "Western" society because of certain stereotypes. No way to get around that. But, there are plenty of exceptions. Case in point, my Chinese uncle married a white woman. They have 3 kids and everything's pretty hunky dory with them. I have the other problem, as I find Chinese guys attractive but they have little interest in a Chinese American girl like me, going either for the "demure little Asian girl" type or white girls.

As to this site, it is called "LoveLoveChina," but its mission from the get-go was about Chinese girls, says so in the subheading. Crystal is Chinese, though most of the posters here are white, I'll give you that. But for the most part this site is an exchange of opinions and information about who they think Chinese girls are like. Is it sometimes a bit creepy, incorrect, or ill-informed? Yes. But at the same time others can jump in and offer another standpoint. You can tell that I seriously disagreed with this here post, but how else are you going to offer differing points of view if no one shares it?

Demure little Asian girl type? Try 'feisty little spitfires'.
Yes, I suppose that there actually are 'demure little Asian girls' out there, but I'm not sure I would recognize them even if they came up and bit me in the posterior. Possibly because I tend to ignore demure people. Almost as if they're not even there.

Women without strong opinions just aren't very interesting.
Fortunately none of the women I know are like that.
And they've all got "vocabularies".

I thoroughly appreciate the contradiction between a face that can look totally innocent and a mouth that raises demons.
It's like discovering a chilipepper in your food. All of a sudden, everything is just so much brighter.

There's more to all these issues than meets the eye.
I would be keen to find out what my readers think.
Please comment.

NOTE: 'Pokgai' is a rather amusing Cantonese expression......

Either 攴街, meaning that an effigy of the person so addressed would be glued to the pavement and whacked with a shoe till it ripped to shreds (thus symbolically doing the same to the person), OR 仆街, meaning to fall (die) on the street and never receive a decent burial.
It's a curse, an expression of anger, and a general swear word.
In either case, as applied to a person it implies disgust and baseness.
Odd chutzpah to use it as a personal handle.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Louisa said...

Hey saw this post through Crystal. Not much I can add to you post, just wanted to clarify that when I said "demure little Asian girls" I was talking about how it seems CHINESE guys (at least, the ones I grew up with) prefer girls like this, not non-Chinese dudes.

My current HK idol is Tony Leung Chiu Wei. He's made of awesome and badass.

filipino dating said...

Oh wow! It does happen also in the Philippines. I know a Chinese friend who married a filipino, admitted that she married an Filipino Orthodox Jew as a form of rebellion because her once father told her: "You will marry a non-Chinese over my dead body!"

Anonymous said...

Filipino Orthodox Jew?

Sounds like the woman who married him wasn't the only one rebelling.

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