Wednesday, January 13, 2010

GOOD NEWS FOR SMOKERS, BAD NEWS FOR THE REST OF YOU!

As it turns out, I have been doing something right all this time.
I have been drinking tea. Specifically, green tea.
Which may have cancer-fighting characteristics, according to researchers.


BBC article: GREEN TEA MAY BLOCK LUNG CANCER
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8453628.stm

QUOTE: "Drinking green tea may offer some protection against lung cancer, say experts who studied the disease at a medical university in Taiwan."
[CUT]
"In the study, smokers and non-smokers who drank at least a cup a day cut their lung cancer risk significantly, a US cancer research conference heard."
--- --- ---

For many years now I have drunk a quick cup of green or semi-fermented tea ere leaving the house in the morning, for that last boost of caffeine before facing the world.
Throughout the day I have more tea - several cups.

Turns out this is also good for my prostate.


BBC article: GREEN TEA SLOWS PROSTATE CANCER
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8108831.stm

QUOTE: "A chemical found in green tea appears to slow the progression of prostate cancer, a study has suggested.
Green tea has been linked to a positive effect on a wide range of conditions, including heart disease, cancer and Alzheimer's disease."

--- --- ---

The prostate is a fun little gland that lives near the reproductive organs of the mammalian male, too close to the arse for comfort. The fortunate female mammal does not have one - she is undoubtedly blessed.
That does not necessarily mean that women can or should smoke more, just that they aren't likely to end up with enlarged or cancerous prostates.

[This post is NOT about my prostate. Keep those probing questions to yourself.]


Anyhow, I have been swilling green tea since early adolescence. Since before I started smoking, or consuming alcohol, in fact.
I have drunk it all my adult life.
Thanks to tea, I am the very model of clean virtuous living.
Lots of tea.


I am zipped to the very eye-brows as we speak.
Weeeeee! I feel good!


I've downed so much green tea that I'll probably live to a hundred!


This afternoon, I shall smoke an extra pipe-load of fine strong tobacco to celebrate my new-found robust good health. So if you pass a pudgy grey-faced middle-aged geezer on Market Street energetically hacking his lungs out, that will likely be me.
I'll be just about vibrant with life!
My prostrate is fine too.
Probably couldn't be better.
Don't forget to say 'hi'.
Neener neener neener, bitches, neener neener neener.

3 comments:

Tzipporah said...

Me, I'm sticking to red wine and dark chocolate as my health foods of choice, although I consume a couple cups of good black tea a day as extra insurance.

Spiros said...

Beer is an anti-oxidant.

Anonymous said...

How about smoking green tea?

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