Friday, January 08, 2010


Courtesy of an anonymous commenter underneath the post about Sea Shepherd nutballs steering their pimped-out super hero boat too close to pissed-off Japanese whalers and subsequently getting hoist by their own petard, I must share a recipe.

[The comment is in this comment string:
Underneath this post:
It is comment no. 72, occurring just before Kishan opined that Australians are degenerates who have sex with kangaroos (that being comment no. 73).]

What prompted the recipe was Vicious Kitty writing:
"I too fervently wish to sink my teeth into a nice whale steak. Or perhaps a slaughtered Australian. Even though they require way too much HP Sauce."

Whereupon an anonymous reader said:
"Whale. Tastes like chicken. And almost as good as spotted owl."

Which spurred on this contribution from yet another anonymous:

And almost as good as spotted owl.
Potted Spotted Owl.
It is delishus!

Skin, paunch and wash the owl.
Cut it into pieces, dredge with flour and fry in butter.
Put the pieces of fried owl, an onion stuck with six cloves, a lemon peeled and cut in half, and generous pinches salt, pepper and cayenne into a pot. Cover completely with good brown gravy.
Cover the pot well, put it up to the rim into a saucepan of boiling water.
Stew until the owl is quite tender - probably about four hours.
When nearly done, pour in a generous dash of port wine.

Serve with red currant jelly - NOT that ghastly red muck, what's it called, you know, the frightfull sour crap Americans normally serve with roast turkey. That noxious stuff made from some wild Indian bog berry. Inedible!

Good owl deserves red currant jelly!

Seasonable from September to the end of February.

Bon appetitt!

[End quote]


I've eaten zebra, snake, alligator, fruitbat, and wildebeest.
I have never had spotted owl. Or whale meat.
Wherefore I bow to the superior knowledge of my readers.
And express the wish that they ask me over for dinner one of these days.
Looking at my calendar, I note that I am free for most of January.
And February.
And March, except for the last two days. Free again from the third week of April through the rest of Spring.
All Summer.
And most of Fall.
I'll bring the wine. What goes well with whale?

NOTE: If you wish, you may contact me directly:

All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


jonathan becker said...

fruitbat? that's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

fruitbat? tastes like chicken. Almost as good as whale. Or spotted owl.

The back of the hill said...

Fruitbat: take a long pole (bamboo, probably), and go under the tree which harbours the sleeping fruitbats. Aim, and whack. Then whack the fallen bat again to kill him. Gut him, and pack dense mud all over, rubbing it into the fur. Place the muddy lump on a fire, and go wash your hands THOROUGHLY while it cooks - bats befoul themselves in their sleep, and are rather unclean in consequence.
When the outer casing is good and dry, hardened by the fire, take the object off the heat and let it cool down. Crack it open, and pull morsels of flesh from the casing, which should prevent fur and skin from separating.
It's delicious.

You can ALSO braise them in a red wine reduction, with bay leaves, garlic, and a few cloves. Serve as is, or enrich the sauce with cream (and a little white pepper and nutmeg) for a more luxurious French presentation.

A fruit chutney on the side is in either case an excellent idea.

You'll need one bat per person.

All the same techniques, from pole to fruit chutney, also work on Australians. But they are far filthier than fruitbats, so I have no direct experience.

Search This Blog


For some reason which I cannot explain I thought about the Shanghainese girl this morning. I knew her years ago, we drifted apart, and lost ...