Tuesday, March 31, 2009

PLAYING CHESS ON DECEMBER 24

In a comment-slew on Dovbear's blog, Conservative Apikoress (CA) asks:
"Is it an inyan to eat Chinese food and go to a movie on December 25?"

[Dovbear's blog: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/ ]


The posting, in case you couldn't guess, is about inyonim. You may peruse it here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2009/03/finally-trump-card-reply-for-too-pious.html


The Bray of Fundie hastened to reassure CA, writing:
"No Moabite. But it is an inyan to eschew the Bais Midrash and play chess on the evening of December 24th."


Question: This inyan is well-established, especially among Jews of Gallitzianer oder Russishe ursprung. Ober vorem?

Answer: Because the Cossacks who live next door borrowed your station wagon (without even asking, gevalt!) for a crazy vodka-fueled midnight ride to Bayonne. Chess soothes the mind, and that, in its turn, contributes to the total calmness of the universe - which will also have an influence on those shikkere mechutzefim who stole your car, and thus lead to its and their safe return. To do otherwise is to virtually GUARANTEE that they smash it through the garage wall and into your kitchen. You don't want that to happen, do you? So play chess! Otherwise those drunken Cossacks might do something nasty.

Can't trust those stupid Cossacks. Might be best to move somewhere where there aren't any.

----------------------------

It's also, apparently, an inyan to eat egg salad with onions on shabbes. Gehakte eier mit tzibbeles! Echt un ba emmes!
Which does not square with associating with other people on that day - this inyan would make one poresh min ha tzibbur. And if you have no consideration for your neighbor, at least show some for your eishes chayil.

6 comments:

e-kvetcher said...

Cossacks!

BTW, tzibbeles, is Ukrainian "Цибуля", a favorite food of the Cossacks, especially with black bread and vodka.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Mister Dutchman, you are gibbering! Please to be speaking the English of the Queen, and thanking you!


---Grant Patel

DEATH BY NOODLES said...

Tzibbeles means onion?

And I clicked on the Cossacks link, E-kvetcher. Interesting painting.
Searching Wikipedia for 'Cossacks' brought up "Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of Turkey by Ilya Repin (1880-1891)".

"The Cossacks, led by Ivan Sirko, replied in an uncharacteristic manner: they wrote a letter, replete with insults and profanities. The painting exhibits the Cossacks' pleasure at striving to come up with ever more base vulgarities."

And: "What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? "

Wow! Almost a pity that the letter was never really sent.

e-kvetcher said...

>replied in an uncharacteristic manner

Clearly written by someone who does not know much about Cossacks!

GRANT!PATEL! said...

I am a gorilla!


---Vladimir the Mad Cossack

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A LACK OF PROPELLANT

Rereading my old posts reminds me that I used to be immoderate. And at times over the top. I've calmed down and grown up since then. Now...