Tuesday, March 03, 2009

THE FULL ELVIS

Years ago, when I was working at a computer company down the peninsula, Savage Kitten thought of me. And sent me an article about chicken-fried bacon strips. As served at a famous eatery in Texas. Her added content was some snide remark about heart-attack on a plate, ooh yummy goodness, smirk.

Thick-cut bacon double dipped, nuked in the fryolator, with a bowl of cream gravy on the side.
Geshmak!

I've never eaten chicken-fried bacon strips (just add ranch dressing and it sounds like the breakfast of champions), the computer company headed down the financial tubes like an out-of-control rollercoaster ("we're crashing, wheeeeee!!!!!"), and Savage Kitten denies ever sending me something like that.

This is the same 'inspired' woman who once, in the middle of a dark night, posted flyers on the doors of the company where I worked three blocks from our apartment, advertising 'Round Rhonda's Snack-o-dise', with menu items like 'deepfried corn and walnut lard balls', 'lobster fritters in bacon & butter goop', and 'sugar-crusted crawdaddy nuggets'.
Eating at Round Rhonda's "make you SLAP yo' momma, Ah garontee!".
Free delivery to retirement homes and incarceration facilities.

I never did get a straight answer out of her about why she did that. Something about "brightening up your day", along with "broadening your colleagues' cultural horizons".


GIVE THEM BREAD AND BANANAS

I have often thought that indeed my coworkers needed cultural horizon expansion.
Daily brightening is probably a good thing too.
Especially during rainy weather.
Lunch options in this neighborhood are gloomy, and limited.


I really really wish that the sandwich joint across the street did peanut butter, banana, honey, and bacon sandwiches. Yes, there are such things - Elvis Presley used to eat them all the time. They were probably a contributing factor to his demise (he exploded like a cholesterol and illegal substance bomb while sitting on the crapper), but lawzy, he musta died happy!

Surely one Full Elvis couldn't hurt? One? Once in a blue moon?
Which means no more than twice a week, at most three times. Four during rainy weather.
On fried bread.
You should probably omit the soda and chips if you are dieting.

10 comments:

GRANT!PATEL! said...

I have a new post. Most obliged if comments.

Telmac said...

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GRANT!PATEL! said...

Oh my heavens that sounds DIVINE!

Just add some chopped chilies, and you've got a feast!


---Grant Patel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Truly a memorable breakfast.

I could plotz after that.


---Grant Patel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Fry the bread in ghee.

Then rub it all over yourself.


---Grant Patel

DEATH BY NOODLES said...

It all sounds nasty. Especially what mister patel suggests you do with the ghee.

DEATH BY NOODLES said...

But some people really do like a lot of grease. All kinds.
Personally, a little bit goes a long way.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

What the buggery blazes does 'geshmak' mean?


---Grew Poonerbhai

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Ghee is GOD!!!!!! Don't youEVER dare forget that, miss Wong. THAT is why you rub it all over yourself - so that you become close to him. It's a religious experience.


---Gondar Prunes

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And if two people do it to each other, it is doubly blessed. That way both can help the other of the either of them towards performing a virtuous deed.

Enabling a good deed is doubling the goodness.



---Ghee Prajasa

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