THE JUNGLE'S EDGE

This morning I took a quick trip to the ghastly hinterland to pick something up, then came directly home. Arrived just after twelve. So you can imagine how early it was when I scooted out of here. The ghastly hinterland on the other side of a bridge was still foggy when I got there, and I turned around mission accomplished before it had a chance to clear. As far as I'm concerned, those bigfoots can crash into other on the freeway and burn in the mists.

The hinterland is where they invented oatmilk eggnog.
It's a unique and special kind of place.
Very tofu.

The natives, who replaced the original natives, are too darn wussy for words.
We Dutch Americans should have taken over with fire and sword.
Come on, move it, you candy-assed Anglos.
This is my ranch now!

Look, we once wiped out an entire island for strictly business purposes, so we could easily have plowed right over the soft and spongy whitebread mayo types that abound in the suburban quagmires. Piece of cake.

Tastes just like lobster? No, not there. Everything tastes like vegan chicken there.

They're ga as all git-out in that region.


Today at tea time someone questioned me about Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, and Hong Kong. Then declared that I was basically a colonialist. Seeing as I wasn't born till long after independence, and had nothing to do with the emergency, that's a bit of a stretch. And also let us not forget the Batang Kali Massacre (12 December 1948), perpetrated by the illustrious Scots Guards. After the massacre, British officials attempted to retrospectively legalise the Scots Guards' massacre of civilians, and the British government blocked all investigations into what those kilted bastards had done. No one has ever apologised. As a Dutch American, I bear not one iota of responsibility for any of that. In fact, what the British did in Malaya and Africa after the war, and what the French did in Indochina, was so repulsive and horrifying, that what my kinsmen did in Java pales in comparison.

Afternoon tea was very enjoyable. Red Virginia flake made with a smidge of Perique afterwards, in the most recently acquired Dunhill pipe. Very much like a colonialist.



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