AND WE AREN'T EATING THAT!

Years ago, in order to tease the she-sheep, Snidely (sock sheep, the Head Sheep) invented 'Big Black Wanda Sheep', and laboriously crafted two little yellow bows out of cigar ribbon for her hind feet, as "evidence" that she had existed, and was no more due to an evil lurking in the apartment. That being me. She tasted delicious!

Big Black Wanda Sheep, though entirely a fiction, has entered the canon.
The only ones who remember his trickery are Ms. Bruin and Miss Piggelt.
The Head Roomie (a teddy bear) and a small pig respectively.
Other stuffed creatures sometimes bring her up.
Most often, that's the small piglet.
Who has an evil streak.

I presently hear porcine giggling.

One of the newer roomies, a condor, is baffled at this household of which he is now a member. Is it nothing but weirdoes and perverts?

Well, um, yeah. I mean 'no'! No, it isn't!

Only a few of the other creatures are weirdoes OR perverts. So don't panic.

He has rightly recognized the turkey vulture (Sydney Fylbert) as one such.
Because civilized creatures do NOT threaten to eat little girl hamsters.
Good lord man, that's just not done! It is very not cricket!
What is wrong with you, dude!


Somebody brought up Big Black Wanda Sheep again. I really wish they wouldn't.
In that narrative I am the bad guy, and we ate her.
It's a foul slander, I say!


In other news, my apartment mate, in whose room many of the small anarchists live, is in the kitchen right now preparing a rack of lamb. Should be delicious. I'm quite fond of lamb.
Mmm, succulent flesh! Juicy, herby, garlicky.
Not Wanda Sheep.


No, Sydney Fylbert, it is NOT a celebration of her life!
There is no need to look solemn or speechify.
Do not bake grass cupcakes.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================