MOOSE KILLS MAN

Whoever thinks nature is benevolent and harmless may need their head adjusted. Nature, usually, is malevolently apathetic. Homicidal psychosis is a natural phenomenon, as are also several highly venomous creatures who use their toxins for fun and profit, and to great effect. A black widow spider is a natural phenomenon. Highly succesful, too. Frequently no man in their household, lots of absorbable proteins, and many more soon where that came from, when the egg mass hatches.

Every time one flies back to California, when there are glowing patches thousands of feet below, one knows one is home. Forest fires tell us we no longer have to fear New Yorkers with their snooty attitudes; they quail before the ferocity of our natural environment.

Probably explains all the tourist blobbos in our urban areas sneering at drug addicts and the rabid homeless. They dare not go into the interior and contest the terrors that lurk there. Amidst the trailer parks and suburban haciendas, strip malls, and manicured lawns.


The inhospitable sasquatch mating areas.
A savage and terrifying wilderness.
Rattlesnakes and moose.
Karens.

The East Coast is not like that at all. They have pounded both nature and the aboriginals into submission. The final straw was Yoko Ono performing. Nothing left but the cold silence of the grave, giant pet rats in their sewer systems, and squabbling over who makes the best pizza like pudgy well-fed British gentlemen.

These are things I often think about when on my way home from work I pass by a local East Coast pizzeria. I've had their food. It is good. But a flat greasy slice, if you look at it from the right angle, resembles nothing so much as fresh roadkill. A poor beast squashed flat by the thundering big rig of life, stuck to the steaming potholed asfalt of somewhere effing ghastly like Massachusetts or Queens. A rabid skunk, perhaps, now tamed by the sneers of some yobbo who talks like "that". And, the final insult, covered with "cheese".

Still, one agrees with Jon Stewart. It could be worse.
Chicago deep dish oily dough casserole.
Acid indigestion in a skillet.


I like pizza.


Dreamed of it last night.
Fondly.

There is nothing that says "New York" like Yoko Ono.



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