HE AND SHE

When a bear raids your storage locker, he (or she) is probably looking for bacon and cheesy poofs. It stands to reason. As a smart animal, albeit with juvenile delinquent tendencies, he (or she) associates honey with unpleasant little buzzy stingy things, which get in his (or her) nostrils and ears and are altogether a pain in the ... mmms. Yes. Bacon. Cheesy poofs.

The only bear I often come into contact with is Ms. Bruin, the senior roomie, who lives in my apartment mate's room. Who is a stern overseer in control, more or less, of the other animals. That are sometimes rambunctious, and occasionally steal my wallet.
They have plans, and the leafy things inside of it will enable them.
Either that or the plasticky thing for internet purchases.
Sometimes the magic bowl of quarters.

[The magic bowl of quarters contains my laundry money. Which they pooh pooh. "Surely," they insist, "the old geezer never does laundry. He's content to be stinky and stew in his own funk." Besides, no delicate young things will come close so it's useless! They'll just take it and ..... That reminds me that I have to do laundry today, by the way.]


Ms. Bruin is, mostly, on my side. That is to say she'll utter a reprimand when the other critters are too bold. And remind them that no matter how pointless it is, I do make the effort to be clean and presentable, and in any case, theft is wrong.

Ms. Bruin does not smoke. So who is that poking around near my box of pipe tampers? What with generally not having any pockets, I can easily understand how he (or she) left the house without a tamping device -- something I used to do, but as I worked for over a decade around the corner from a tobacconist I would simply buy one on my break -- and I'm quite okay with him (or her) borrowing one. But how did he (or she) get in? Did Ms. Bruin give it a key?


Must be an old friend. Someone she's known since college.
Looks like rather a decent sort.



After the bear left I got up and made myself some coffee. I need to be alert and wide awake when doing laundry. And take back my bowl of quarters.



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