I'M SORRY JI, SOMETIMES YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

There are times when I am mighty grateful for the opacity of social media. There are two subcontinental gentlemen who show up where I work fairly frequently, who would be startled and upset if they found out what I really think. They've swallowed all the usual bull puckey that you would expect, and consequently are very liberal, which I like, but I vehemently disagree with a few of their fondly held ideas. And I wouldn't want them sad.

There are three issues in particular: 1) The Middle East is NOT the hotbed of peace, love, and postcolonial liberation and happy, happy social progress that they fondly believe it is.
2) England is not always wrong all the time, although the vast mass of English are off-kilter in a few cases, like, for example, the Middle East, where they are quite mistaken, stupid, pig-ass ignorant, and anti-Semitic to an extreme not seen since Clement Attlee. 3) Cricket is the most boring game in the universe, second only to American football, which is an excruciating sport beloved by braindead screaming yutzes and beer-swilling meatheads. The only exciting parts of cricket are the cucumber sandwiches and the Pimm's cup (gin, Pimm's liqueur, soda water, squeeze of lemon, lengthwise spear of cucumber, sprig of mint, and fruit pieces as garnish; served chilled). Which explains why the British are drunk all the time; they are forced to watch cricket, which they consistently loose to Pakistanis, Indians, Ceylonese, and the entire Carribean.

Both men are intelligent, interesting, and quite likeable. although one of them IS a Punjabi, and therefore given to a density that is very irritating. The other one is an engineer and entrepreneur. Both men smoke cigars, which I should not hold against them.

As I said, I am glad that they are not superskilled at social media. I'm also glad that we do not have masala chai at work, because two Indians is about all I could cope with at a time, and sometimes I just need some peace and quiet.

One thing I like is that they are quite fluent in English, and do not have thick accents. Some accents can get on one's nerves. Most Europeans, for instance. Almost anybody named Patel. Know-it-all Dutchmen. Iggerunt lower-clas Brits, and almost anyone Scottish.
The Dip Saath. Hippie dudes on pot, man. The Valley. Donald Trump.


I can well imagine my Parsee coworker from the office in SF telling one of them "oh do please shut up, baifkoof" at various times. Then having another cup of tea. There are no teapots at work now. Most people there don't drink it. Sad.



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