Sunday, December 17, 2023

NO UNPLEASANT AFTERTASTE

Well, the office holiday party is done with, I can revert to being an ogre for the rest of the year. No need to be social. Which is good, because I don't really excel at being a butterfly. Mercifully there were no embarassing incidents, no dancing was required, and no one hugged anyone else saying "I love you man, I love you!"

There was food. It was good. There were cigars. Excellent.
There was also wine, decent stuff, which I avoided.
Drank strong tea all evening.
People like myself do not thrive during the holiday season. I'm blaming Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, and Mariah Carey. Back in the good old days, before I was born, it was so easy. Just follow the example of Ronald Reagan in the advertisements and give everyone a carton of Chesterfields.


"I'm sending Chesterfields to all my friends. That's the merriest Christmas any smoker can have - Chesterfield mildness plus no unpleasant aftertaste".

----- Ronald Reagan, 1952.
[Buy the beautiful "Christmas-card" carton.]


Because NOTHING says Christmas better than Ma, Pa, and Junior all sitting around the tree puffing. Yessir, choose Chesterfields for the holidays! If those are unavailabe, settle for Camels. More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette!
There's a ton of combustibles under that tree.

Still. Chesterfields. Always milder. Better tasting. Cooler smoking. The righ combination of the worlds best tobaccos properly aged. Always Buy Chesterfield. ABC.


Sometimes, especially around this time of year, I think that I am quite lucky not to have a large family and numerous relatives. Other people have to stand outside in the pouring rain freezing their balls off holding onto their roast duck breast sandwiches and ciggies because otherwise their gluten-phobic cousin Gertrude, and the Vegan twins, and the anti-smokers, will all be triggered, while oldest brother Bill goes off on one of his political rants about the commies and uncle Walter talks about Jayzus, all comfy inside. And there they'll be under the streetlights disconsolately puffing away while snarfing down the animal protein all soggy.

No massed relatives to chase me out, so I'm good. Trust me.

If I'm out there with my pipe it's because I'm a rugged outdoorsman!
I like risking pneumonia and hypothermia while smoking!
It's healthy! Toughens you up!
Individualism!

Oh, and my apartment mate doesn't like the smell.

The only problem is all the other people outside indulging in their unhealthy lifestyles.
It's getting crowded out there.



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