All problems in the Bay Area have their roots in Oakland.
I say these things in cheerful sneer as a reaction to a remark hurled in my direction recently. According to a young greenhaired woman of indeterminate gender and somewhat puce or sepia race, whom I believe to be from there, I am an old white male.
Indeed, I am older than her. I can see that. And rather definitely Caucasoid. You should see my calves! Mmmm, creamy! Almost glowing. Luminescence.
How exactly is this in any way germane?
That green hair may be out of solidarity with cabbage, or other vegan chow. I had been mentioning the little dumplings at one of my fave restaurants to an acquaintance, chopped bokchoi and pork, very delicious, especially with chili sauce. Little miss Broccoli Floret overheard, and interjected that it was so like an old white male to eat meat.
Because of me there are wars.
Okay. I'm fine with that. Most of those countries are garbage anyhow.
Send in the helicopter gunships.
If you don't like hearing that people eat meat, you don't have to hear it; just wedge a baby carrot in each ear. The orange hue will contrast nicely with the emerald hair.
Actually the entire East Bay sucks.
It's all Assholistan.
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2 comments:
Funny. Not too long ago, East Bay residents were referred to as “bridge and tunnel people,” and now, I am one of those residents, since 2005. Oakland itself has its enclaves of comfort, mine are in Chinatown and occasionally Jack London Square for craft beer, which isn’t too often these days since the only craft oat soda I crave is dark, like my soul. Otherwise Oakland is indeed a violent city filled to the brim with Jew-loathing lefties who fail to realize that even a minor amount of animal protein is good for their critical thinking skills. Their tofu soup and avocado toast isn’t doing much for their sense of reason, but so it goes.
I've lived in the East Bay, in both Berkeley and Oakland. Nice, but a different world. On those rare times when I go there again (usually only for seder's and things like yohrtzeits), it seems like it's still the eighties there.
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