THEY ARE HEAT VAMPIRES

If we had been Florida, iguanas would have fallen out of trees yesterday morning and today. There was snow on Mount Tamalpais. That cold. But no falling iguanas. They aren't torpid enough here. Besides, our iguanas wear sweaters, and live in apartment houses.
Not mother-naked in meth-factory trailer parks.
This ain't Florida.

This cold better not last much longer. I shall write an angry letter to the editor if it does.
Damn kids, get off my lawn! And STOP making snow men!
Or whatever gender they identify as.

Snow persons with issues.


Snow men, it stands to reason, are rarely women.


And never iguanas.

The ideal temperature for an iguana is fairly high: eighty to one hundred degrees Fahrenheit. Somewhere around the temperature of a human body. Ninety seven to ninety nine degrees.

Be sure to hug your iguana. Repeatedly.
For their toasty comfort.



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