Tuesday, February 28, 2023

CELEBRATING WINTER

The weather service has put out a blizzard warning for the Lake Tahoe area. Do not go out. It's dangerous, even a short walk could be fatal, emergency services will be too busy to save your frozen rear end. Fortunately I'm not there but in San Francisco. And I'm not the kind of person who sees extreme weather as a surf or ski opportunity.

Far too sensible, unathletic and boring for that.

I will gladly leave that to more adventurous and exciting people, who run around naked and take designer drugs at raves. They will look totes fabulous in their neon-green sportsgear and designer ripped jeans frozen to death in the snow. Like colourful firewood, fuel for a harsh winter, combustible if kept reasonably dry. Despite their low wax content.

See, this is why you moved to California. Dude.
Excitement! And the modern age!
Plus the weather.

Critical period: Monday evening to Wednesday Afternoon.
I am ashamed to admit that I do not own a Speedo, tiger striped or otherwise, have no biking togs, and never acquired a Grateful Dead tee-shirt. I do not participate in raves, don't do yoga, and avoid both guarana and gluten-free.

Nor do I celebrate Santa Con.
Except negatively.


'Get away from the door, you drunken red pillock!'


I believe in subtle discouragement. If I could, I'd direct my hose to kids on the lawn. Especially if they're tattooed, or doing something "with it".


But I firmly believe that the next twenty four to forty eight hours will be perfect for snowboarding with a bottle of Fireball.


You could tweet about it.
Or TikTok.



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