Sunday, February 26, 2023

ATTACK OF THE KILLER PENGUINS

The streets of San Francisco are white, snow-covered, and filled with seven feet tall prehistoric actic gorilla birds pecking at the poor puny humans, who run in terror from this frigid menace! Oh, the penguinanity! I know this because due to an apartment mate who does not smoke I had to go outside for the last pipe of the day. Extra layers, and gloves.

This miserable weather is a communist plot to sap my my vital juices, I swear. But if need be I'll cover any assailants, communist or otherwise, with slime. Evil smelling slime.

[Vital juices are thick, sticky, and reek of chemical substances. You've been warned.]


I am determined to survive this.
I wearily trudge forth.
Ever further.

Betcha that folks in Palestine, Ohio, don't have to go out in these conditions.
Precisely because they've got evil smelling slime.
Oh wait, they had that before!
It's Ohio.


Okay, that's enough reference to current affairs.
Back to the weather. It is cold outside.
Significantly so since sundown.
Raynaud's phenomenon is an affliction that causes the blood vessels in the extremities to narrow, restricting blood circulation, usually due to colder temperatures. It does not affect most people, just rare geniuses and sensitive types such as, for instance, myself. It's a right royal pain in the gand, even though it does not happen there, but just imagine frigid digits prodding your glutes, though. The beginning is sharp tingling. Intermediate stages when it's around fifty seven degrees are painful, but only in the finger tips, which has happened nearly every morning for two months now at work. When, like at present, the air outside is forty degrees, my fingers first turn blue, then grey, then corpse white. Even with gloves on my hands hurt, and using a pipe cleaner such as one is wont to do while smoking, necessitates taking a glove off, revealing something that very well could have been fished out of the East River. This being San Francisco, I wonder should I set fire to garbage piled on the street to alleviate the symptom? Can I get away with that? Would anybody object? Oh wait, is that actually a shivering street-person covering himself with old papers to keep warm?
Sorry, dude, I'll take my firestarter tendencies elsewhere.


Other than that, it was a very enjoyable smoke.
Red Virginias, with a modicum of Perique.
Enjoyed in a curved Charatan pipe.
If I remember correctly, I first started getting Raynaud's nearly two decades ago. Nearly the same time as I acquired the pipe in the picture. No connection.
Yes, I do not like cold weather.



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